Great Writing - Home > Poetry > Two sides of a conversation
READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 1012 guests online and 1 member online
Poetry
Two sides of a conversation
By patterjack
23 March 2006
Two sides of a conversation

I say it's a meagre , thin love this , unwholesome.
What else could a good Romantic poet say
who'd fling his heart a wounded bird to make it fly
rather than let it , crippled , merely flutter
away?

No courage here; not even the plain straightforward statement.
I know all the facts of it - but then who else would care ?
I'd tell you , and tell you gladly, but not even you,
the all-too-unwitting object , would know of any way
to share.

I'd like to take all the words I know and speed
them far to the curving rim of clear dark space
and blazon them there in one gigantic creed
but all the resultant consequence I could not
face.

To hell with it then for lacking the simple courage
to tell of the dreams I have dreamed , I'll cut them dead
and trample them deep in every day's pollution.
This I have thought and thought and thought of as the only
solution.

............ and a repetition

A lover may fling his heart at a golden bird
but what would a good romantic critic say
if then he let it flutter with crippled wings
away......

Reviews
layercake........
Written by Bagheera (685 comments posted) 23rd March 2006
I had to read this slowly several times, and each time I came up with a (slightly) different overall train of thought. 
It made me realise that poetry is not always what it seems: you can "cut through it" (hence the 'layercake' analogy, 'cos I'm not good at expressing myself in poetic terms! :sigh ) .... 
..... you can, as I started to say, cut through it and fins different LEVELS of meaning.  
What made the biggest impact on me was the slight but significant variation in the almost-repeated stanza at the end. 
Lots to think about here, I'll no doubt be back to it several times to squeeze a bit more from it. 
Very enjoyable!

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item