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Shorts
Dogs That Bite
By BlondeBimbo
23 March 2006
Who know what lies behind the outer facade of people on the train


Dogs That Bite
 
Through swooshing doors they tromped like Burton suited gladiators.  The smell of Impulse for men, halitosis and wet gabardine forged before their eager shuffle to find comfort ahead of the ping that heralded their exodus to the metropolis.  A broadsheet plopped beside the sleeper who was always there, third window seat from the door, a forty something. Tattooed, studded and pierced, swathed in remarkably faux fur, expressions that he was once an exceptional youth but now appeared more like a middle-aged, hibernating hedgehog.  The briefcase sat down beside him then hunched and sniffed the dusty field of local news, briefly looking at the hedgehog with distain.
 
Heads swayed united in motion as they travelled through estates where people slept, ate crunchy nut cornflakes and watched morning TV.   Past squelching brown, green fields and black trees weighty with winter rain.  Then a horse running, head swaying symbolic of freedom versus human heads swaying captured by the train.
 
“This Is A Designated Quiet Area”.
 
The symbol suggested that mobile phones should not be used and therefore peace would prevail, but morning voices carried.  Polite. uniformed voice, officially thanking travellers for showing their orange tickets.  Thick, North European voice, asking if tea or coffee was required.
 
The conversation of four adolescent men halted the woman vainly dabbing at her face, diminishing the signs of age and lack of sleep.
 
“Fuck me, only the dead should get up at this time of night.  How come you ain’t sitting down?  It’s gonna be a long enough day as it is.”
 
She looked at the back of the chattering heads, sniffing to herself in comment on the short, slick hair.  Occasional travellers just didn’t understand the unwritten law of “Commuting In Silence”.
 
Across the aisle, the faux hedgehog shifted anxiously in his den, newborn eyes tight shut.
 
The chatter continued.  Comments about the breasts of a girl covering their tabloid page, confirmation of the time they should arrive, sharing of mints and chewing gum.  Unflattering observations on absent colleagues.  Schoolboy farts and beer belches punctuated their prattle, which turned again to their pal straddling the aisle.
 
“Sit down.”
 
“I can’t.”
 
“Why?”
 
“ ’Er bleeding dog bit me arse.  I bent down to pick up me pants and the bastard got me.  I ‘ate that dog.  Hope it gets blood poisoning.”
 
“Alcohol poisoning more like, the amount you shifted last night!”
 
The human hedgehog curled tighter into a ball, studded nostrils flaring.  The silence of the other travellers thickened.
 
Finally, an efficient wave swelled.  Books were banished once again to bags, scarves curled comfortably around warm necks, some advanced shuffling to the doors broke out. It took only minutes for the train to empty leaving coffee cup and greasy pastry bag echoes of the journey just past.
 
His newborn eyes remained steadfastly shut, deep in anguished hibernation, persecution, terror, oppression.  Memories soaked in stinging scars pulsated through his veins.  Something about the voices, the faces, sucked it all back into his brain and beat his skull, hammered, thumped, swore, spat and kicked until his arteries broke and agony oozed him back into the gravelled play park and smooth parade ground scenes of his broken uniqueness.  He couldn’t run, nor hide, just curl tighter and tighter as his blood-soaked memories pounded. 
 
Through swooshing doors they tromped like Burton suited gladiators.  The smell of Impulse for men, halitosis and wet gabardine forged before their eager shuffle to find comfort ahead of the ping that heralded their exodus to the metropolis.  A broadsheet plopped beside the seat where he used to be, its mournful headline,
 
“Mysterious Death on the 6.30 Train.”

Reviews
Train of thought
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3590 comments posted) 23rd March 2006
The commuting world is one I know nothing of and your insight into makes me rather glad. I do sometimes wonder about the people on the odd time when I travel and train stations fascinate me. Your writng is very graphic and clear and the descriptions work well. And I have to say that that is one death I cannot bring myself to mourn. The piece had a journalistic feel to it. 
 
 

Written by Ted_Iberrz (21 comments posted) 24th March 2006
I almost got lost among the metaphors, but once I settled in I enjoyed the journey. 
Very realistic and not unlike a commute I take myself, albeit less frequently than I would like.
Liked it
Written by steve666 (50 comments posted) 29th April 2006
I seem to be reading a lot of train journeys recently - glad i read this one. 
Well written, flowed easily until the very last paragraph, and saved itself with the end. 
Good work and well done. A few too many metaphors for me, but enjoyable nonetheless. :)
A good one
Written by IPFaulkner (83 comments posted) 19th May 2006
I liked that it darted from one person/place to the next and gave you a sense of the business.  
 
Funny though; a few things I read have a kind of statement at the end or a purpose i.e. in this case the death. But sometimes I like things that don't have that -they are just evocative descriptions of a normal thing. The mundanity of this train journey was mad unecessarily unusual. Some are that bored by commuinting that a death each day on the train would be a welcome event! 
 
IP

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