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Ch #2 Sired, sired?
By bloodange77
24 March 2006
I decided that I was going to write this chapter this way on my third time try. The third, so I hope you like it. But if you don't, I don't really care because you are supposed to write to suit yourself not others.


     Halfway to my house I realised that I didn't want to go back home. I didn't want to go anywhere but to save Jordan. I didn't want to, especially not with Nickoles. He was supposed to be dead. I guess that didn't work out or last too long. The last time I saw him he was in a casket. He looked dead and he wasn't breathing either. So what happened to that ingenius plan? Hmmm? I guess it started to breath new thoughts. Okay that's not fair to him, now I'm being hostile. I shouldn't do that to him after all he did fake death to save me.
    I decided that I still didn't want to go with him. I covered his eyes with my hand. He stopped dead in his tracks and I excitedly jumped from his ever-cold hands. He felt it and grabbed my arm. I knew he wouldn't let me go that easily. I knew that he was not that kind of guy. He was the kind that never let something go once he had it within his sights. 
    "You're are not leaving! Not now, not ever! I have you once again, now I'm not letting you go," the passion was very lacking in his voice.
    "You are still the same old Nickoles. I still don't want anything to do with you. I didn't then and I don't now. So you might as well as just leave me alone so that  I can do what I was trying to do in the first place. Let go of me and get out of my way," I said angrily.
    "No, you're wrong about me. I did change. I changed for you. I did this for you. I died for you. You, you, you! Why won't you apreciate me? I won't let you go though. You aren't going anywhere to do anything. You can't even save him. I watched you, with him. I didn't like what I saw. He looked at you with such passion. It was like watching a really bad romance movie. You can't save him, I won't let you. He needs to die. Besides, the rules say no human love," He rambled on and on.
    "Well guess what? The rules are about to be broken. I will save him, and you will not stop me. I have to save him, he doesn't need to die. Maybe you should have stayed dead," I growled at him with all my heart.
    "Oh no you don't, you aren't going to do that to me. No, not this time. I saved you and was rewarded with life. I am here because your mother saved me. She brought me back," he said.
    "Go die again. I will save him," I said and bit into his skin.
    He laughed at me cruelly. The smirk on his face told me he had indeed changed but it wasn't a good change. This would make me hate him even more. I bit down harder into his skin. A gush of blood swarmed into my mouth. He looked as though I had been doing naughty things to him. He kind layed back his head back and gave a short sweet moan of pure pleasure. I bit harder still. Swallowing the blood I had in my mouth I felt a sudden pain. Had I done what I think I had just done? I tried to stop but he knew what I had suddenly found out and stopped me from stopping.
     Ironic, how I had done to myself what I didn't want done to me. I stopped swallowing and he kissed my cheek. That surprised me a little and I swallowed again. He let me stop. He seemed really acomplished with himself.
     "Oh my god, did I just-" I said.
     "Yes you did, you just sired yourself. I was going to do it myself but hey, why not let you do it for me. You know the funnest part of being sired? The chase, running from the one who sired you. Start running. Of coarse, you might be a little faster than me but that won't matter. You can't run forever. I'll catch you eventually," he said," run, run, run as fast you can. You can run, you can hide, but you can't escape me."

Reviews
ehm.
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1436 comments posted) 10th April 2006
On a nit picking point. It would read better if you introduced blank lines to break the piece up.  
 
Not having read chapter one, I was never too clear as to what was going on.  
 
"you are supposed to write to suit yourself not others."-True, but not completely because if so, you'd never post your work to be seen by others. 
 
"I tried to stop but he knew what I had suddenly found out and stopped me from stopping." 
 
Would it read better if you inserted "he'd" i.e. ... and he'd stopped ... 
 
Brian. 
 
 

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