this is funnier if you close one eye when reading it as ive done something rather clever with the font.
Interview with Katie Melua – non offensive UK based easy listening ‘artist’
Katie recently released a rather daft ballad called ‘there are 9 million bicycles in Beijing’ (or something like that).
I’m not a fan of hers by the way, no offence to those that are!
We are in the BBC's television studios at Wood Lane, london and Katie is being interviewed by the BBC’s very own Janet Plank.
Janet: So Katie, after the success of your recent album and hit single in which you accurately established the number of bicycles in Beijing, I wonder if you can inform us of accurate figures for the number of mopeds in Singapore?
Janet puts the microphone to Katie. Katie looks bemused before answering; er..im sorry but I don’t know.
Hmm, continues Janet as she rustles through some papers, then perhaps you can enlighten us on approximate numbers of Tricycles in Sao Paulo?
Katie is looking somewhat annoyed now; No, she replies firmly.
Hmmm, ok, quad bikes in Sheffield?
No, says Katie firmly, now are you going to ask me some sensible questions about my album?
Er, Janet shuffles through her paperwork again. No, no I don’t seem to have any here.
Then im leaving, says Katie, getting out of her chair and walking out of the studio.
Penny farthings in Helsinki??? Shouts Janet as she goes.
The end
Epilogue:
Shortly after the interview ended Givitsum turned up and buggerd them all senseless.|
Written by sasquatch (125 comments posted) 24th March 2006 |
Good work sasquatch.
Your wit make this wretched life almost bearable. |
"Facts, statistics and more **** lies..
Written by Bagheera (683 comments posted) 24th March 2006 |
Hot off the press!! (and nothing to do with this posting  )
On local radio (BBC Merseyside) last night it was announced that fifteen minutesbefore the Liverpool-Birmingham game a large bet was placed with a local bookmaker, with the following elements>
1. Correct score: 7 - 0
2. Half time 3 - 0
3. 6th goal an Own Goal
4. Djibril Cisse to score "Very late in Game"
After investigation, it was apparently confirmed that the bet WAS valid, and had been laid correctly BEFORE the match started 
What odds on this, anyone?? And will the bookie survive? I'm tempted to write a story on this theme, but you honestly wouldn't DARE write something so unlikely even for a "Roy of the Rovers" or even "Beano" readership....!! |
Written by nascent (106 comments posted) 24th March 2006 |
You give katie Melua more credit than she deserves - she couldn't muster up an expression or change of mood if she tried!
I have nothing against her singing, or her either for that matter, but not long ago I saw her singing the Kirsty McColl part in 'Fairytale of New York' with The Pogues. On of my favourite pieces of music turned into a bland pop tune by her delivery.
Bagheera - I take it that either WAS or was very close to the actual result? Definitely the smell of 10 day old fish about that one 
|
Written by sasquatch (125 comments posted) 24th March 2006 |
i read about that too.
i wonder who placed the bet. Perhaps it was Katie Melua.
by the way when i said im not a fan of hers, it was something of an understatement.
lets start a mass debate: Katie Melua - Total shit, or merely awful? |
Meanwhile
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3362 comments posted) 24th March 2006 |
| Meanwhile, back at the ranch. I wondered about that song myself. Interviewers do tend to pick up on some totally trivial bit of nonsense when they talk to the celebrities but with KM there is only triviality. so the questions were valid (actually in reality I think she would have known the answers..... and sung them!!!) I was worried about the end but luckily Givitsum came to the rescue. Is it the law now for every comedy post to end with a sodomy scene. Nice idea (the sketch, Imean not the sodomy bit. |
hmmmmmmmmmm
Written by brook_rivers (484 comments posted) 24th March 2006 |
I can see the point you are trying to make but i think you need to expand on this idea to make it funny!
On the subject of Katie Melua I was not adverse to her music until I saw that very same show as nascent:
'not long ago I saw her singing the Kirsty McColl part in 'Fairytale of New York' with The Pogues. On of my favourite pieces of music turned into a bland pop tune by her delivery. '
Why o why did they choose her of all people to do that part, she totally ruined it!!! her voice just wasn't suitable!
i didnt exactly see the hype before but after that i think shes a definate no no on my ipod! I always get her confused with that one who Tom Cruise is dating as well for some reason............ |
Beige
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3362 comments posted) 24th March 2006 |
| Brook ,I think the confusion is understandable they are both the human equivalent of Beige |
Written by sasquatch (125 comments posted) 24th March 2006 |
brook, it was just a quick gag based on a lame song. theres nothing to expand!
except perhaps my loathing for miss meluas music. |
My old mate
Written by givitsum (651 comments posted) 24th March 2006 |
Good old sasquatch comes up trumps yet again. That's my boy.
I was previously inextricably linked with serial killing, I now appear to have been relegated to turd burgling.
Good one, as usual my friend. |
And another thing...
Written by givitsum (651 comments posted) 24th March 2006 |
| If sasquatch would try a little 'bum-foolery' he may not need the 'mass-debate' over Katie Melua he so craves. If we are gonna 'mass debate' over her, I'd probably come down on her side favourably. |
Written by givitsum (651 comments posted) 24th March 2006 |
| ...or up her arse. |
???
Written by gwynn1970 (109 comments posted) 26th March 2006 |
| Who's Kate Melua? |
Written by sasquatch (125 comments posted) 27th March 2006 |
| she is a mutant half breed who lives on the moon and does nothing but felate herself. |
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