Chapter One - Part 1 - Bludger prepares for Benfica

Playing against a foreign opponent is always tough, despite being backed by waves of loyal fans (some of which might comprise of illegal immigrants) on home soil. This occassion was no different. We must breakdown their pulsating attack and pearce through sturdy defence. Yes, we can do it, thought Bludger, who sat solemnly in the changing room - the ladies changing room. He gripped his hands tightly in immense belief, but he felt a tab on this shoulder. "Excuse me, but you're in the wrong changing room. The men's is down the hall way. And please put some clothes on", hinted the head coach of the girls team. The big game had distorted Bludger's concentration.

As Bludger returned to his seat in the men's room, he checked his gears and status. Drink bottle, checked. Boots, checked. Cigars, why would that be necesary? Ok, still checked. He was adequately prepared. He was fit - fit enough to outrun a 5 year old kid in a 100 metre race but no more than that). His socks were brand new, though strangely an unmatched pair. He's acquired a sleeky new hair do, well, fully shaven to be in fact.  He was clothed in a bright blood red club shirt with a chalky 10 written on the back. He glazed up at one corner of the room with a smirk, picturing his magnificent stance with this famous number 10 shirt (number 10 shirt is worn by the best player in each club) in front of all the fanatical female fans. Then a familiar voice echoed into Bludger's consciousness. "Alright men! lets go and take them down!.... and Bludger, give me back that number 10 shirt!" yelled the captain.

Filled with a surging adrenaline rush, Bludger leaped out of his seat before hitting his head against a pipeline, and slapped on his number 99 shirt that he forgot to wash after yesterday's training. He followed his team mates and headed for the stadium entrance...

Chapter One  - Part 2 - Newsflash

Article from Habibs News (Brotherly Association of Reuters News)

Bludger set to tackle tricky Portuguese team

Top Stories

On the night of European encounters, Mighty Reds welcomes a roaring troop of Benfica who has stormed into town with a vehement belief of an unprecedented upset. Whilst the European event is very much an enticing affair, much of the talking point has been shifted towards the new signing of the flamboyant Aussie winger, Bludger. Prior to this much anticipated match, the Reds beat a host of clubs to snap up a free transfer for the service of Bludger. Fans are zealous about the prospect of a player of calibre such as Bludger, who is currently valued at 500 Euros (the equivalent 30 beef buffets at Koya in Neutray Bay). An overweight midget coupled by bulging fish eyes, bald but with an array of facial hair, buck toothed and gorilla nosed, Bludger is tipped to make his debut against Benfica. Fans are hoping that Bludger's pace, agility and body odour would terrorise the opponents defence, and ultimately help the Reds to turn their 1-0 first leg deficit into european glory. Bludger is relishing the challenge and voices that his preparation has been ideal. Part of Bludger's pre-match preparation is to dine at a beef buffet.

Other News

A man has fled from Koya Beef Restaurant at Neutral Bay few hours ago without paying after dining a buffet. Police is reported to be looking for an overweight midget (male). Facial appearance includes bulging fish eyes, bald but with an array of facial hair, buck teeth, and a gorilla nose. Anyone with news is advised to notify the police on the 1900 We're Not Corrupt hotline.