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Comedy


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Anal sex orgy

By Bottleblondesurfer

27 March 2006

Dedicated to Givitsum, get my name right just once. Once would be nice.

In a desperate bid attempt to recover his lost popularity Tony Blair has called in media darling Pete Doherty for advice .
TONY –So well…er Pete how should I change my image?
PETE –(stoned as usual) grow a beard, beards are really cool, y’know.
TONY- great, so what about clothes?
PETE- Clothes, naw No clothes they suck, man. I mean who needs them.
TONY- This is all so new do you mind if I take this down.

PETE- Shit , are arresting me ? I'm just minding it for a friend.
TONY- No this is all good stuff I need to know this. What else?
PETE- Where’s the dope then
TONY- We never know where John is now. But you see I need to get in touch with the kids
PETE- Oh! Is that Elton? I didn’t recognise you. That wig really looks shit.
   (the door opens and Prescott barges in and starts to undo his trousers)
TONY What are you doing here?
PRESCOTT I’m here to bugger the snot out of that streak of piss, there,
TONY No, you can’t do that. It’s wrong
PRESCOTT- Just watch me, Bambi
    (off comes the underpants)
TONY- No it’s wrong This isn’t a Givitsum sketch,it doesn'tend that way.
PRESCOTT- Oh sod it….. Hell I’ve got me keks off now so I might as well .C’mere little piggy.
    (grabs hold of Doherty whips of his pants and gets him in classic rogering position)
TONY-It won’t work ,This post is by that weird little woman and she doesn’t do anal sex.
PRESCOTT- She bloody does now, sunshine…Squeal,piggy squeal.
     ( he whacks his todger home)
PETE- Christ, my aaaaaarse
PRESCOTT- You’ve had worse , I’ve seen those Valium suppositories.

TONY- There was a time this would have ended with a clever ironic twist now thanks to Givitsum it's just another fudge packing finale.

Reviews

Thanks
Written by givitsum (651 comments posted) 26th March 2006

Thanks for the dedication Bottlebankbimbo. A delightful little tale, invoking heart warmong images of our Nation's leaders engaged in a little 'nudging the fudge'.

Unimpressed
Written by gwynn1970 (109 comments posted) 26th March 2006

I must disagree with givitsum. To me it just seems like a blatant attempt to write about this 'arse' stuff which seems to be going around at the moment. The characters were shallow and the plot feeble.

I prefer Fasten Your Seatbelt.

Written by sasquatch (125 comments posted) 27th March 2006

i thought it was wonderful. a beautfil peice that for me somehow encapsulated both the tragic and joyous aspects of this crazy world we live in.

Agreed
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3362 comments posted) 27th March 2006

"To me it just seems like a blatant attempt to write about this 'arse' stuff which seems to be going around at the moment. The characters were shallow and the plot feeble."
Gwynn,I have to say I agreed with your crit entirely,it was my pathetic attempt to "play with the boys" ,just a curtesy response to Givitsum's earlier dedication,But given the title why on earth did you bother to read it? It did what it said on the tin

Additional
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3362 comments posted) 27th March 2006

Yes Fasten your seat belts is in every way a far superior offering. I would not attempt to compare the two. On that we have some common ground.

disgraceful!
Written by woody44 (775 comments posted) 6th April 2006

This has got to stop! I was once compelled to spend a night with Pressa in a laybye when his Jag ran out of aviation fuel and during our night sprawled out together on the sumptious back seat he told me how the constant jibes really hurt him. I think he is very misunderstood and will tell him so on our next holiday together in the Seychelles...

nepotism
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3362 comments posted) 6th April 2006

Any friend of Prezza's is welcome here about time we had someone with a bit of influence; the extended forum needs planning for an extension, the village is totally neglected (just check it out!) And if you could get him to demolish the poetry section completely and build big pub. (only joking you poets...really just a joke...honest!

Nepotism
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 13th April 2006

Knee pot ism

Slang-The taking of drugs at low joints.

Brian.

hahaha
Written by pocoyo (9 comments posted) 14th April 2006

I enjoyed reading this.
Most silly and amusing.
Bizarre situation.... it could work lol.
I was attracted by the ehem... highly artistic title and yes it does what it says on the tin. No disappointment for me lol!

Fun.

All this did for me ..
Written by johniebg (541 comments posted) 8th May 2006

... was make me laugh. The only fault being there isnt more.

Objective 'delivered'...
Written by mishmish (389 comments posted) 2nd June 2006

Just found this...and couldn't stop laughing. What a strange mind you have BBS. Enjoying this site more and more...

Can't seem to get the startling imagery out of my head.

Fab stuff!

best wishes

mishmish

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 15th November 2006

Drawn to the bizarreness of this....funny though!

Elli

Written by coosh (868 comments posted) 1st February 2007

Strange how the title drew me in, as it flashed up in the "Work Awaiting Review" window - although you appear to have had a few already, since March. Particularly enjoyed the expression to "bugger the snot out of someone"... is that common vernacular in the catarrh-ridden, fudge-packing districts of the East Midlands? My only disappointment is that I now know who Gwynn turned to be.... otherwise she'd have made a cracking source of comedy for a section at times in dire need of some.

Written by Marybarry (237 comments posted) 14th February 2007

Loved It Bottle blond.

Show those guys, what girls can write if they choose to.

Careful for G Co, I got a NASTY review for my arse story.
m barry :grin

I'm sorry...
Written by Clifftown (620 comments posted) 30th July 2007

I know I said I wouldn't read this but I'm afraid I just had to in the end - now let's see if we can whack the hit rate up to an even thousand...

I do enjoy your ability to write as these famous figures in a way that makes whatever they say instantly believable - I could almost believe this scene actually happened, except maybe with Noel Gallagher instead of Pete Doherty in the lead role - wasn't he the one Blair liked to suck up to?

Really enjoyed!

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