|
By Nance
|
|
27 March 2006 |
Hi autumn! Do you want to make my soul’s acquaintance? Here it is. The same like you. Please don’t push it away. With you it’s becoming so vulnerable. Can you trust that with you it begins to believe in miracles over again? It’s walking through your rain and sleeping inside your wind. Thank you, autumn. You are beyond compare with summer, spring and winter. What can they give me? Maybe, a few snowflakes, maybe, a bit of sun, but nothing more. And you never disappoint me. You are always ready to present the hope to me. I can always give you my heart and you’ll take it far far away to the dear place where the dearest man of mine lives. Autumn you’re perfect. I don’t always feel you because sometimes you are hiding your secrets, hiding your golden kindness. Every day I’m flying and approaching you closer and closer, but I never finish my trip since it’s a journey of my heart, my life-long journey. |
Poem
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3449 comments posted) 28th March 2006 | | I think this would work better as a poem.It is said poems are condensed emotion and you have expressed that here. The rhythms,and and more formal structure of poetry would make you edit the piece which it might benefit from. Your writing is heartfelt but would benefit form some editing to find a wider audience. If that is your aim. |
Written by Nance (86 comments posted) 28th March 2006 | | Thank you very much that you've read me and thanks for your advices, they are really useful. |
Only registered users can rate and write comments.
Please login or register. Powered by AkoComment 2.0! |
Previous item
