Shorts
Time zones
By Fledermaus
22 December 2009
Allessa sat down on the stone balustrade and looked at the lights of the sleepless streets. Down there, four million people played their roles and dreamed their dreams. The eternal city was home to some of the mightiest of the world, but as her gaze drifted off to the Saint Peter's dome, she knew that even the most powerful people in the world have hopes and fears. Would the pope never be lonely?

Seven time zones away, the sun already cast its golden glow upon the fragrant harbour. Wai-Ming moaned the soft groan of someone who tries to cling on to a dream, but knows it's slipping away like grains of fine sand. All that remained where the words... Dreams were so fleeting and a newborn day rose above the Pearl River.

Four million people in the city, six billion in the world, and she sat all alone upon the chilly Aventine, watching a place that seemed made for lovers. The full moon stood brightly against the sky over Rome, and she knew that down there, couples were kissing on the Spanish Stairs, or throwing coins into the Fontana di Trevi. From all over the world they came to taste the sensuality of the city of symbolism, but she had no-one to share it with. Why was she tormenting herself with so much beauty?

Wai-Ming pushed aside the curtains and glanced at the windows of the building on the other side of the street. Thirty floors, each with a view on his bedroom, and yet he didn't know a single one of the people who lived there. There were eight million people in Hong Kong and six billion in the world, yet he only loved in his dreams.

She'd better go home and sleep the restless sleep of someone with too much boiling passion. Some day her heart would simply explode from longing and there would be no-one to pick up its shattered pieces.

There had been this European lady, and he had taken her by the hand and showed her the Avenue of Stars. Together they had watched the neon lights across the bay. They had joked about each other's accents and she had told him about her own country, half the world away. Then they had gone up the Peak and sat down on a quiet bench. She had embraced him and they had hugged tenderly. It seemed to last forever, but when at last she let him go, the scenery had changed. They stood in front of a huge baroque fountain, with waterfalls flowing over carved marble and naked statues struggling with horses.
" Throw in a coin over your left shoulder", she had whispered, " And promise me that you will come back."
" Ngo oi nei"

Seven time zones to the west, Allessa smiled in her sleep. Her lips parted and she muttered a phrase.
" Ti amo..."

Reviews
Watto Batty
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1436 comments posted) 22nd December 2009
"Allessa sat down on the stone railing ". No, railing is made of rails, ususualy metal ,and never stone. Try the word balustrade. 
 
Unlike you I'm not multi-lingual so have no idea what " Ngo oi nei"means nor " Ti amo..." 
 
Merry Xmas, 
 
Brian 

Written by Nick (553 comments posted) 22nd December 2009
Hey Ron, 
 
Another interesting little short you've created. I think this works well because it is quite succinct and makes the reader do a little bit of work. 
 
Like Brian, I'm not multi-lingual but judging from the context I was guessing that 'Ngo oi nei. meant 'Yes' or some other form of positive acknowledgment. I was also assuming 'Ti amo' meant 'Thank you' or 'love you' or something like that. Am I even close? 
 
Nick

Written by Josie (4015 comments posted) 22nd December 2009
Interesting little story, yes, and on a familiar theme. Ti amo? Amore? Does this give a clue? We used to write ILY or SWALK (sealed with a loving kiss) on the back of our letters - but do they send love letters to each other any more? To get back to your story, I thought the way you had cleverly constructed the story made it!! Most unusual.

Written by Fledermaus (4130 comments posted) 22nd December 2009
Thanks RBN, Nick and Josie. 
Nick ihas it right. Both phrases mean 'I love you', one in Cantonese, the other in Italian. Hopefully it's clear whom those two lonely people dreamed of :-)
HI Ron
Written by jean.day (2845 comments posted) 23rd December 2009
I liked this, and think I got the meaning. I liked the way you changed from one dreamer to the other.  
 
clever
Written by fellpony (2684 comments posted) 23rd December 2009
Although I didn't immediately guess in his initial paragraph that Wai-Ming was a male name, you'd only need to drop a pronoun into that para to sort that out. 
 
I think the phrase "Ti amo" works all right, but you could ease our lack of knowledge of either Italian or Chinese by adding a descriptive phrase or two about the lovers' behaviour to confirm our guess that both phrases express love - rather than removing them altogether.  
 
I like the premise of the story though I wasn't convinced by the description of the lovers' original meeting. I think it's the use of the pluperfect (had). I often feel it's a device to shoehorn in bits of explanation; telling rather than showing.  
 
I thought you managed the constant switching between characters/paragraphs very neatly. 
 
A reason for the lovers' separation, and a hint of whether they will meet again, would be satisfying.  
 

Written by Gill21 (594 comments posted) 31st January 2010
A great idea but i would like to read much more about these people and the places they see such beauty and interest in! A good start and some lovely turns of phrase. It just felt a little rushed to me...

Written by Fledermaus (4130 comments posted) 2nd February 2010
Thank you Sue and Gill, 
I did not intend the two to have met in real life. They just met in their dreams. Wai-Ming probably never was in Rome, nor was Allessa in Hong Kong.  
And I am afraid you're right Gill, it was a little rushed.

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