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Drama Scripts
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| Crush | |
| By JayOTee | ||||||||||
| 01 February 2010 | ||||||||||
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Hi all, This short script is something I wrote many years ago after being inspired by a friend's experience of working in a supermarket and her love of Pegg/Wright collaborations (and some other 'interesting' experiences of life that will not be elaborated on...!). I wrote it for her birthday so there are a lot of tailored elements and was my first attempt at that kind of style. Still holds many memories... Forgive the formatting, Final Draft doesn't transfer well. Please comment if you have the time, many thanks!! Jess INT. SUPERMARKET, AISLE 9 - DAY ANGELA COTTON, 25, supermarket slave, is on her knees. Next to her, several boxes of identical cereal. She places one in a space on the shelf in front of her. JERRY ‘CALL ME MR.’ KEATING, 40s, The Manager, approaches, nose-first. She turns, beaming a fake smile.
ANGELA
Good morning, Mr. Keating.
KEATING
(eyeing cereal) ...Hmmmm... Keating continues on his way, Angela snubbed. Keating reaches the end of the aisle at the same time as EDWARD (EDDIE) FECTER: 28, supervisor, dogsbody extraordinaire.
KEATING
Ah, Edward. EDDIE Jer - Uh, Mr. Keating. Hello. KEATING Could you be sure to tell Andrea to- EDDIE Andrea? (sees Angela) Oh. Angela.
KEATING
Be sure to tell her that the cereal must be in alphabetical order, both in brand organisation and name. EDDIE Alphabetical order? KEATING In brand organisation and name. EDDIE Right. Keating leaves abruptly. Eddie, flagrantly dismayed begins to head towards Angela. Her mouth drops. FANTASY SEQUENCE Eddie strolls up the aisle looking amazing, like some Jane Austen hero, eyes fixated on her. She turns away. END FANTASY SEQUENCE
EDDIE
Angela. Hi. Angela looks back to normal, everyday Eddie.
EDDIE
Uh, yes, looks good. Jerry has one little tiny stipulation though. ANGELA Just one? EDDIE No. Actually two.
ANGELA
Is it going to involve me rearranging - INT. ANGELA AND CLAIRE’S FLAT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT CLAIRE, 25, well-groomed and sassy, is sat comfortably, fully expectant of the next few minutes. Angela enters screaming:
ANGELA
- nine hundred boxes of cereal! Nine hundred! Claire rolls her eyes, heads to the kitchen. A cork pops.
ANGELA
I spent five hours today doing that. Rearranging cereal into bloody alphabetical order. And Eddie doesn’t lift a finger to help! CLAIRE Who told you to do it? ANGELA Eddie. CLAIRE But he’s your supervisor.
ANGELA
Yes, but apparently it came from the horse’s mouth. CLAIRE The horse? ANGELA Jerry. CLAIRE Jerry? ANGELA
Mr. Keating. My boss.
CLAIRE Right. ANGELA Don’t I always tell you this? Claire re-enters with two glasses of wine. CLAIRE You never usually get past Ed-
ANGELA
He must have masterminded the whole thing. Why would the Store Manager care if the cereal was alphabetical! CLAIRE But it does sound a little lame, even for Eddie. ANGELA But you don’t know him! CLAIRE (ironically) Of course I don’t.
ANGELA
He hates me that’s why he’s doing this. CLAIRE But, then, if he despises you as you keep telling me every day, why are you so obsessed with him? Angela throws herself onto the sofa, heaving a huge, self-comforting sigh. Claire hands her a drink.
ANGELA
Oh. I love him. I can’t help it. INT. SUPERMARKET. STAFF ROOM - DAY Eddie, expression as if his hands have just been replaced with tofu, is seated with KEVIN, his best friend, an arrant slacker wannabe, at a table.
EDDIE
He tells me to tell her to put the cereal...alphabetically... KEVIN Alphabetically. EDDIE Yes.
KEVIN
Ouch. And did she do it? EDDIE Five hours. KEVIN Wow. She really likes you, mate.
EDDIE
Oh, don’t be stupid. She hates me. KEVIN Why don’t you ask her? EDDIE Yeah, right. When exactly? KEVIN Now, maybe. Eddie turns his head instantly. FANTASY SEQUENCE Angela, all dolled up and sexy, saunters into the staff room. Her hair flows behind her back only as perfection allows, her lips, all perfect and pouted. She looks through her massive lashes to Eddie. Eddie’s mouth is wide open. Kevin hits him.
EDDIE
Ow. END FANTASY SEQUENCE Angela is in her normal uniform, not very impressed with Eddie’s staring.
ANGELA
Is there something on my face? KEVIN Could be if you want. Eddie hits Kevin. Angela just turns away and goes to clock in. Eddie silently bangs his head on the table. He can’t see Angela silently cursing herself. INT. CHECKOUT 11 - DAY Angela, false “happy to help” expression plastered across her face, serves as fast as ridiculous packaging allows. The CUSTOMER glares impatiently. INT. CUSTOMER SERVICE DESK - SAME TIME Keating is part manning the desk. Eddie walks by.
KEATING
Ah, Edward. EDDIE Jer- Mr. Keating. Hello. INT. CHECKOUT 11 - MOMENTS LATER Eddie leans in so Angela can hear him but no-one else can.
EDDIE
Angela. Hi. Um, yes. Jerry was wondering, could you serve a little faster, please? INT. ANGELA AND CLAIRE’S FLAT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Angela rushes directly to her bedroom. Claire is filing her nails.
ANGELA
(re-enters) Go faster, he says. Too slow! Meh meh bleuh!
CLAIRE
He actually said ‘meh meh bleugh’? ANGELA It’s always ‘Jerry wants to know,’ or ‘Jerry was wondering...’ CLAIRE And you’d prefer if Eddie did the ordering directly. Because it’d turn you on? ANGELA Because then...I’d, well, he’d... (off Claire’s look) I need help. Angela heads back into her bedroom. Claire just smiles, ever-knowing. INT. SUPERMARKET. KEATING’S OFFICE - DAY Eddie walks in.
KEATING
Ah, Edward. EDDIE Yes...Mr. Keating. KEATING We’re going to have to lay some people off. Company’s in a little trouble. Last in, first out, you know the score. Why don’t you start with that Alexa girl. EDDIE Alexa...? Angela...why don’t I start with Angela..?
KEATING
Good thinking, Edward. INT. SUPERMARKET. AISLE 9 - DAY Angela, on her knees and cereal duty again. For a split second she turns her head - Eddie. FANTASY SEQUENCE Eddie right at this moment -- A bit of Gerard Butler’s Phantom of the Opera minus the skin problem crossed with Oh God! Suave, sexy and sauntering this way. He stops in front of her.
EDDIE
Angela. Eddie turns to the cereal. He places his hand on the nearest box. He tips it off the shelf. In a completely inconceivable but obviously fantastical possibility the cereal drops from the shelves in a domino effect. Eddie strolls manfully to Angela, a mischievous smile on his face. Her mouth drops open.
EDDIE
Do you care? He smiles, grabs her, spins her over, holding her in a movie pose, and kisses her in sweeping over-the-top romantic style.
EDDIE
We have to lay some people... Mouth still dropped... END FANTASY SEQUENCE
EDDIE
...off. ANGELA (on knees) What? EDDIE We have to let you go. I’m sorry.
ANGELA
You’re firing me? EDDIE No. I mean, I’m not. ANGELA You’re not firing me? EDDIE Well technically, but not me. Jerry. You know, last in, first out...and all that...
ANGELA
Right.
INT. ANGELA AND CLAIRE’S FLAT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Angela enters, flops down on the chair with a miffed look on her face. Claire has already opened a bottle of wine and pouring into two glasses.
ANGELA
I wanted to bite him today. He was telling me the company’s in trouble, last in, first out and all that rubbish - though I’ve been there five years so I don’t know how that works...bloody Hell, five years? - and all I could think of was wanting to bite him. And swords.
CLAIRE
(handing her drink) He fired you? ANGELA Of course not. It was Jerry. It’s always Jerry. CLAIRE But Jerry is the only one with the power to fire people isn’t he? Angela looks at her directly. Downs her drink.
CLAIRE
It’s true. Did you want to go to the pub? Angela rolls over embryonically.
ANGELA
No, I’ll stay here. Whining to myself about the terrible path that is my life. CLAIRE (pouring more wine) Here. Angela rolls back over.
ANGELA
Thank you. Angela downs that too. Moments pass.
ANGELA
OK. Pub. INT. PUB - NIGHT Angela is now rather tipsy. She’s got on the table in front of her what could be vodka and tonic, certainly something paint-stripper-ish. Claire beside her sips a cocktail.
ANGELA
I can’t believe it...I can’t, why, why did it happen? Why would that happen? How? I never saw it coming, not once, at all, how could it? It’s not the kind of thing you think about? You get into it and then bam! Everything changes. It’s all different. It’s all bad! CLAIRE Oh come on, it wasn’t that bad. ANGELA It was! How can you accidentally put the ring on the wrong finger?
CLAIRE
It was a mistake. He was practising. ANGELA Practising on a bone? In the ground! Why not practice on his own finger! Pinky at least! CLAIRE He didn’t know it was a bone.
ANGELA
Still, in the middle of a dark forest in the middle of the night and he’s playing with a ring with dead people in the ground around him...weird... (staring at her ring finger) I feel like a corpse bride. Like I’ve been stung to death. Waiting for him, for the rest of my life, never knowing when we’ll meet again. CLAIRE He’s at the bar. Eddie is at the bar with Kevin.
CLAIRE
Why don’t you go and talk to him? ANGELA He fired me. At the bar:
EDDIE
I fired her. KEVIN Go and talk to her. EDDIE No. KEVIN Do it. EDDIE No!
KEVIN
Do it! EDDIE Alright! Eddie spins around, banging straight into-
EDDIE
Claire. CLAIRE Hi, Eddie. EDDIE Sorry I fired your friend. CLAIRE That’s OK.
EDDIE
It wasn’t me, though. CLAIRE I know. But you should apologise. EDDIE Right. He turns back to Kevin, only to be turned back to Claire.
CLAIRE
She’s that way. KEVIN (handing him a drink) Here. EDDIE Ah, thanks mate. KEVIN It’s for her.
EDDIE
Oh. But she’ll think I’m plying her with drink to bribe her to like me more. CLAIRE Yes, but she likes drink. She’ll probably like the bribing part as well. Especially from you. EDDIE She will...what?
KEVIN & CLAIRE
Go! EDDIE Alright! Eddie takes himself and the drink towards Angela. He stops at her table. Places the drink down. Waits. Turns. Begins to leave.
ANGELA
Hey! Eddie freezes. He turns, meekly smiling. EDDIE Hi. ANGELA You sacked me. Eddie goes all weasly and sits next to her.
EDDIE
Honestly, it wasn’t me. ANGELA I know, I know, it was Jerry.
EDDIE
It really was. I don’t have the power to sack people. I’m just a supervisor. I count the money and run around like a blue-arsed fly when Jerry tells me to do something because I’m pathetic and weak. If I’d had a choice I would have sacked Miles from Customer Service. ANGELA But you didn’t?
EDDIE
No. Here. (pushes drink towards her.) Peace offering. Claire said you liked... well, whatever that is. Angela downs it.
EDDIE
You’re welcome. Angela slams the glass on the table.
ANGELA
Oh God! EDDIE What? What? You’re not going to be sick? ANGELA Are they kissing? Eddie turns. Claire is snogging Kevin’s face off. Eddie and Angela sit there wide-mouthed.
ANGELA
She’s meant to be supporting me getting my kicks! Not getting her own! At the bar: Claire pulls away from Kevin.
CLAIRE
Did it work? The two turn to Angela and Eddie who are still shocked, staring at them. Kevin is a little shocked himself.
CLAIRE
Damn. OK, I have an idea. Claire grabs Kevin’s hand and pulls him to Angela’s table.
CLAIRE
We’re going now. Together. Off to Kevin’s. I’m sure you’ll find some way of sorting yourselves out. It’s going to get a little heated at yours, Eddie, so I wouldn’t come home any time soon.
EDDIE
Oh, God, why would you tell me that? CLAIRE Bye! Claire drags Kevin out of the pub. EXT. PUB - NIGHT Claire and Kevin fall laughing out of the pub.
CLAIRE
Ha ha! I think they really fell for it! They think we’re going home together. KEVIN (serious) Oh, I thought we really were. (off her surprise) Ha ha fooled you! CLAIRE (laughing hysterically) Come on, you can walk we home, loverboy. They head off in fits down the street. INT. PUB - NIGHT Angela and Eddie sit twiddling thumbs at the table.
ANGELA
Hah! Some friends huh? They bring us out then leave us here alone, together...alone... EDDIE Yeah, and he owes me a drink. (beat) What did you mean getting your kicks? ANGELA Well we were meant to come to so I could get horribly plastered and on the off-chance you showed up to talk to you. EDDIE
Hey, me too!
ANGELA No! EDDIE Yeah! ANGELA Really? EDDIE Yes! They stare into each others eyes...move closer...closer...they bang their teeth.
ANGELA
Ow. EDDIE ...Not meant to happen. ANGELA Drinks. She leaves to get some. Eddie mock beats himself up. EXT. ANGELA AND CLAIRE’S FLAT - NIGHT Kevin and Claire stop outside the building.
CLAIRE
Well, this is me. It’s been a fun night, I’m sure those kids will get it on anytime soon. KEVIN I bloody hope so. All I hear is how much he likes Angela, day in day out. CLAIRE Same. Except Eddie. KEVIN Yeah. Pause.
CLAIRE
See you then. Thanks for walking me home. She enters her building. Kevin waits until she is gone, then crosses over the road and enters his building. INT. PUB - NIGHT Eddie returns to his seat.
ANGELA
What did you put on? EDDIE You’ll see. “I’ve had the time of my life” starts playing on the jukebox.
ANGELA
Oh, God, you didn’t pick this did you? EDDIE (sheepish) ...No, of course not. Hate this song. Mine’s coming up in a few... So, do you know what you’re going to do now, employment-wise?
ANGELA
Not yet. I suppose get another job where I’m told what to do by some unbelievably arrogant, self-interested toss-pot. Slight wet-fish on face syndrome for Eddie.
ANGELA
Jerry. EDDIE Oh...I see, I thought, ha, well you know...ha... He downs his drink.
ANGELA
You know, maybe we should go back to mine... get a little peace and quiet maybe... EDDIE Uh, yeah, OK. They leave. INT. ANGELA AND CLAIRE’S FLAT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Angela and Eddie enter. She throws her coat over a chair.
ANGELA
Make yourself at home. Eddie sits, gazing around at the room. He looks at little uncomfortable. Angela enters with two glasses of wine, hands one to Eddie.
ANGELA
I hope you like cabernet. EDDIE Uh, yeah, sure. ANGELA Our last bottle. Seem to be going through it like water recently.
EDDIE
Your flat’s nice. I like the...red. (pause) Sofa’s comfy too-- Angela’s lips are suddenly on his. He is frozen shocked, trying not to spill his wine, she’s very enthusiastic. She pulls away, sits back, mulling silently over the experience. Eddie hasn’t moved. Angela looks slightly confused.
ANGELA
How was it? EDDIE Yeah, was alright. Angela downs her wine. Eddie follows suit. She gets up.
ANGELA
Come on. Bemused, Eddie follows her into: INT. ANGELA’S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS Angela closes the door shut. She practically leaps on Eddie, him struggling to stay standing. She paws at him, he tries to clumsily remove her clothes. She pulls at his shirt, popping a couple of buttons off.
ANGELA
Oh, oops, sorry. EDDIE That’s - that’s alright. They try again. He lays her down on the bed, fondling her breasts uncomfortably. She tries to pull at his trousers. This is not working. They stop.
ANGELA
Are you feeling...anything? EDDIE (restrained) ...No. He rolls over onto his back, lying next to her.
ANGELA
I think there’s only one thing for it. INT. KEVIN’S BEDROOM - NIGHT Very loud ecstasy screams. Claire and Kevin, in a mass of sweaty skin, pull away from each other, collapsing exhausted on the bed.
CLAIRE
Oh my God! Kevin can only making a mumbling, panting sound as he struggles to reload on oxygen.
CLAIRE
You know, Angela might be right about this supermarket worker thing. INT. ANGELA AND CLAIRE’S FLAT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Gunfire. Shouts of “Yes, yes that’s it”, “That way, you’re there!”.
EDDIE
Yeah! Operative completed! Angela has the controls to a Nintendo Wii in her hands. She and Eddie dance around the room in joy.
ANGELA
OK, OK, your turn. She hands him the controls, swigs a beer. He stances, staring at the TV screen.
EDDIE
Alright. I’m going in. He presses the button. INT. ANGELA AND CLAIRE’S FLAT. LIVING ROOM - DAY Eddie wakes up. He glances at Angela - asleep on the other sofa. Empty beer bottles litter the room with munchy food packets. Eddie gets up and quietly leaves. EXT. ROAD - DAY Eddie crosses, only to pass Claire on the way.
EDDIE
Oh, hi. CLAIRE Hello. EDDIE Did you...have a good night? CLAIRE Yes, it was good.
EDDIE
Could you tell Angela I’m sorry about leaving the mess, I didn’t want to wake her up. CLAIRE Yes, absolutely. If you could... (signals back to Eddie’s flat) ...let Kevin know... EDDIE Yeah sure. Bye then. CLAIRE Bye. They separate. INT. ANGELA AND CLAIRE’S FLAT. LIVING ROOM - DAY Claire enters. Angela is just getting up.
CLAIRE
Hey you. Claire shuts the door quietly, then turns to Angela. They both jump around in a girly way screaming, hug each other then drop onto the sofa. Heavy exhaling.
ANGELA
Such a good night. CLAIRE Hell yes. ANGELA I thought you were joking about going back to Kevin’s. CLAIRE I was.
ANGELA
So, was it good? CLAIRE All I can tell you is that we sanded his floor through his carpet. You? ANGELA Amazing. God bless Nintendo. CLAIRE Wha-? I’m having images, tell me you were playing the games on it.
ANGELA
(laughing hysterically) Of course. I’ve got enough toys to not have to convert to a vibrating console. CLAIRE So are you two...going out now or...? ANGELA What? Hell no. We are incompatible at sex but at Red Steel, we rock. They laugh. INT. EDDIE AND KEVIN’S LIVING ROOM - DAY Eddie is sat eating breakfast watching morning television. Kevin exits his room.
KEVIN
Hey. EDDIE Hey. KEVIN Good night? EDDIE Yeah, played the Wii.
KEVIN
Before or after? EDDIE Instead. KEVIN Ah. EDDIE You?
KEVIN
Don’t really remember before or after. EDDIE Nice. Kevin goes to the kitchen and Eddie sits chomping away. THE END
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