This is only a snippet. Where do you think I should put the hook? Should I put it where they are attacked by the British, or where they are hiding? Many thanks. 
Set during the Battle of the Atlantic, a German U Boat is sent on a mission through the Straits of Gibrualtar to join the Italian fleet. Heavily guarded by the British, the U boat attempts to sneak through, but they are spotted and fired upon sending the U Boat sinking to the bottom of the sea. They manage to gain some power and move off slowly to avoid the radar. They serface and they are horrified to learn that they are not where they thought they were, but in an unfamiliar uncharted sea. Forced to abandon the U-Boat due to it being badly damaged, they discover a vast undiscovered island inhabited by women. The hunter and the hunted
Four women kicking about in the dirt swearing crudely in Latin, unknown to them, what they were looking for only stood a few feet away under them; Two people cleverly concealed within the confines of a pit. Standing close together, his arms round her waist. Frozen, they stared up anxiously towards the twigs and branches that covered them. Rays of sunlight shone like lasers between the chinks, illuminating the dust swirling in the air. Both praying the roof would hold, the people up above could be heard moving about, their figures throwing long shadows across the floor. Finally they withdrew to their horses and left.
The two individuals left behind glanced back at each other, the man staring deep into the woman's face, their eyes locked. The only sound was their breathing, and the birds beginning to stir in the trees. The man was taller then the slender woman, she could feel his muscles press against her skin. A slow smile began to play across her mouth as she studied his ruggedly handsome face. Her gaze was bewitching and he couldn't tear himself away, didn't want to. Pulling her nearer their lips brushed ever so delicately into a passionate kiss, slowly moving faster, faster...
Overview
On January 1944 the U97, a Type VIIC-class U-boat, pulled out from the bunkers in Bordeaux, France to the great expanse of the Atlantic Ocean. Little did they know, as the sleek and streamlined grey tube glided out of the submarine pen into the open sea, that these were the final days of the U-Boats. Their task was so pass secretly though the Strait of Gibraltar to join the Mediterranean fleet, a perilous mission as this stretch of water was heavily guarded by the British. A crackled radio message was received on the eve of the operation, stating the ship was near location and ready to go. Added by a few weather reports, it was the last communication from the submarine. U97 and her men mysteriously vanished without trace, and were never seen again.
Passing through the Strait, they are bombed and rammed by a destroyer sending them plummeting to the seabed. After several attempts to blow the tanks and ascend to the surface, they are eventually successful, but they are horrified to learn that they are not where they thought they were, but in an unfamiliar uncharted sea. Forced to abandon the U-Boat due to it being badly damaged, they discover a vast undiscovered island inhabited by women who say they are an Amazon tribe called the Centaurs.
The Queen is concerned that their refuge of thousands of years is in danger of discovery; She remembers all too well men, and their ways. But it's not them the men should fear but another more vicious group of women called the Kang. . Now the war had taken on a very different dimension, they are now fighting against a different type of enemy, and for their very lives.
Alois Shultz, a young Oberleutnant zur or Leutnant zur - Executive Officer (second in command) ventures out on his second patrol with the U Boats of Karl Doenitz navy, (Kriegsmarine) from Bordeaux, France to the Atlantic. The patrol is three months long but Little did they know, that these were the final days of the U-Boats. First Lieutenant Officer Alois sees no honour in the German aims of the war, even through he signed up to the Nazi party. His step parents, ardent supporters of a regime he secretly despises and fears. He does not agree with it, and feels ashamed to be German.
As the submarine creeps through the straights, the captain is shot fatally though the upper body, and the submarine is rammed by a destroyer as they attempt to dive sending them plunging down to the sea bed. Alois is now in a horrifying dilemma and must lead the men the best way he can in a world no longer recognizable to any of them.
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Written by Fledermaus (4146 comments posted) 2nd February 2010 | It all depends on how you'd work this out. As it's now, it mainly reads like the sort of text one would find on the back of a novel trying to hook the reader.
I suppose that if one is into stories about claustrophobic submarines, this certainly will trigger them to have a look at the first chapters to see what it's about. So... Now there have to be such chapters. |
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