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By Katanga
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07 February 2010 |
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Skype televisual connections
embarrass me beneath trees
where we once made love
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Written by Bottleblondesurfer (5077 comments posted) 7th February 2010 | I stand to be corrected but I thought the Haiku was a strict form,comprising
lines of 5-7-5 syllables.
I quite like what you have to say here but the word "embarrass" seemed wrong in the context
cheers
jane | 575 urban myth
Written by haikutec (5 comments posted) 8th February 2010 | Hi there,
Haiku isn't actually a form, another misunderstanding that some Victorian gentleman misdirected us on.
Haiku is a genre, and in Japanese they often fall into patterns of 17 on (or mora).
As the Japanese language (they have more than one language system) doesn't contain syllables, most Western writers will write a haiku that is six seconds long (about 12 syllables).
It's better to concentrate on the writing itself, and then worry about any syllable count.
The With Words website is highly praised nationally and internationally because of its simple overview of haiku: http://www.withwords.org.uk
all my best,
Alan
| haiku url! ;-)
Written by haikutec (5 comments posted) 8th February 2010 | With Words:
What is haiku:
lWith Words what is haiku
Haiku examples:
winning haiku examples
Alan | thanks Alan
Written by fellpony (2924 comments posted) 8th February 2010 | (I assume Alan = the Alan Summers whose name is on the informative web site; very nice, BTW)
John - setting aside any argument on whether your poem matches any syllabic or non syllabic pattern: the words that don't do anything for me are the rather abstract "televisual connections" and "embarrass".
The other point is that it's my impression that haiku generally work in the present tense, seizing a moment. (I have used them to make notes of things I want to write about in another form later - I see that's mentioned as an honourable use of the form on With Words) this too feels different from your poem.
I suppose what all three of your reviewers are saying is: this doesn't make any of us think it's a haiku. I think it's probably a larger poem, exploring the two aspects of the situation more deeply.... though not necessarily one of your rapid sonnets.
| Ha! I think
Written by Katanga (4169 comments posted) 8th February 2010 | I would have deleted this late-night (ahem!) piece, were it not for the very useful reviews below.
Jane - I got a bit slurred with my syllabubs . . .
I still reckon I can perform the first line in five syllables after three large glasses of the red jolliness!
The meaning? Yes, blurred and confused . . .
[I really DO wish I'd deleted it now!]
Thank you, Alan, for your comments and links to 'Haiku sites'.
Truly appreciated.
I shall have a good browse in due course - I hope others will see your reviews above and follow suit. Cheers!
Sue - yup, you have me sussed.
Yo ho!
John |
Written by wendycat (2302 comments posted) 14th February 2010 | Evidently this one came out of a bottle of red. 
i can't add to the very knowledgeable replys above. I will say i didn't get it though. 
Wendy |
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