I am hoping that writing will release me from the tingly, twisty illness that I feel inside.

I am hoping that writing is what I came to this earth to do, that I have finally found my reason for being.

I am hoping that having finally found what I am meant to do, I will be able to do what ever it is I am meant to do.

I am hoping that what ever ripples I am meant to make by my existance, that I am able to make them, fully, completely, as I was meant to do.

I am hoping I can thus keep my word to God and do what I promised to do when I came here.

I am hoping that having completed my work, I will be able to go home to the light, the love and the music.

I am hoping that those I have lost are waiting for me when I pass, even if it is just the result of a momentary audit of my unresolved life experiences as my brain dies.

I am hoping that when I die, I die at the right time, in the right way, having fulfilled my duties.

I am hoping that God will be merciful, forgive me my imperfections and embrace me as his willing servant.

I am hoping that God will be kind to me as I live the remainder of my life and will not make me stay here for one second longer than necessary.

I am hoping that God is compassionate and holds my sore heart in his loving hands as I walk this painful life.

I am hoping that God will soothe me and tend my wounds in my hours of darkness.

I am hoping that there is an end to all of this and that it is worth it.

I am hoping I am hoping