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Poetry
Empty shoes
By Scribbler
11 April 2005

Those empty shoes are sitting there, like they always did

In the recess beneath the stair, ever since I was a kid.

Dad would come home from his work, and place them on the floor

It's so hard to understand; he's coming home no more.

 

 

They've sat there for three long years, mum cleans them every day

A constant reminder of my father, she won't throw them away.

Dad came home that fateful night and sat down in his chair

He removed his shoes as usual, and put them under the stair.

 

 

I heard him cough like he always did; he'd had that cough so long

When I heard him gasp for air, I knew something was wrong.

I dashed into the hallway; he was standing by the door.

His face was drawn and ashen, like I'd never seen before.

 

 

Mum said "Call an ambulance," I fumbled with the phone

The ambulance took them both away; I was left here all alone.

That was the last time I saw him alive; he never did come back

He died on the way to hospital, from a massive heart attack.

 

 

When I need to talk to my father, I sit by his empty shoes

I know that he'll be listening, as I tell him my latest news.

I told him when I got married; I told him that I was a dad

The thing that really saddens me is, he never saw my lad.

 

 

He said son look after your mother, your wife and little boy too

You're now the head of the family, they all depend on you.

I have a task for you to do; it's one you wont refuse

The time has come, as you knew it would, to fill my empty shoes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews
Well done - loved it but so sad
Written by Betsie (30 comments posted) 14th April 2005
That is a lovely poem but I'd like to see inverted commas (speech marks) where necessary.

Written by Songster (52 comments posted) 15th April 2005
This is a lovely poem, Scribbler.
Amazing
Written by DevotedWriter (8 comments posted) 4th July 2007
I really enjoyed reading it! It's flow and rhythm is so consistant. That was amazing.

Written by rushwilde (16 comments posted) 21st July 2007
I liked it. 
 
It's just at the last stanza whee you wroe "He said..." 
 
I get a [very silly] imagery of the empty shoe talking, soles, laces and all.  
 
It's no fault of yours, of course, im just..... simple minded that way :)
Authors reply to rushwilde.
Written by Scribbler (2 comments posted) 22nd July 2007
I appreciate the comments from people who have taken the time to reply, its always helpful. But I think rushwilde is reading something into my poem that isnt infered. The scenario is intended to be of a young father who is still missing his own father after 3 years. He feels closer to him when he sits by his shoes which his mother wont thow away. he doesnt talk to the shoes and the shoes dont talk to him, the shoes are a but a symbol of the father he misses.

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