Quicklinks:
|
Great Writing - Home > Comedy > Cabbageman
| READING ROOM | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
|
| COMMUNITY | |||
|---|---|---|---|
|
| ABOUT GREAT WRITING | ||
|---|---|---|
|
| WORK AWAITING REVIEW |
|---|
|
| GW IS... |
|---|
|
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas
and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur
authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry
Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you
can make new friends and improve your creative writing. |
| WHO'S ONLINE |
|---|
| We have 942 guests online and 1 member online |
Comedy
| print friendly version | |
| Cabbageman | |
| By paulwalker | ||||||||||||||||||
| 11 April 2006 | ||||||||||||||||||
|
Hi I was very pleased with the overall response from What do you want??? so thought it time to introduce another of my characters. This one is probably a bit more developed than mike the barman, although doesnt quite have the impact with the catchphrases. so bit of a different appraoch. I generally get very good response to this one when ive shown to friends etc so i hope you feel the same. Cabbage man This sketch is about a man who, despite his best efforts not to, reeks of cabbage. Cabbage man walks into a shop one day. Cabbage man: Good morning, I am interested in buying one of your lovely cakes I see displayed in the window. I wonder; how much does the large chocolate gateaux cost? Shopkeeper; eeerrgghh, what’s that smell??? It stinks of cabbage!! It must be you (points at cabbage man) as I couldn’t smell it before you came in, and now that you are inside my shop I can smell it very strongly. Cabbage man; madam I can assure you, I take the utmost care in looking after my personal hygiene. Shopkeeper; well it doesn’t bloody smell like it you revolting bastard. Get out of my shop before I shoot you, your making all my wares smell of cabbage!!! In shame Cabbageman leaves the shop. Later when his spirits have perked up again he decides he would like to know the time, and not having a watch himself asks a passing youth for the time of day. Cabbageman; excuse me young man, I wonder would you be so kind as to inform of the time? Youth; my god, what is that smell?? It’s like the worst rotten cabbage smell ever!!! You smelly bastard, I hate you!!! At this the youth strikes out at cabbageman hitting him forcefully in the face. Suddenly other youths appear from around the corner and being equally as offended by the terrible smell coming from cabbageman they too join in the violence and soon cabbageman is being soundly beaten by 10 agile young men. At this point in the sketch we see a close up of cabbageman receiving his hiding and we are treated to close ups of his nose being completely pulverized and all his teeth being knocked out and stuff, all in slow-motion and to dramatic music. Cabbage man screams (the sound is drawn out and low frequency as its in slow motion): nooooooooorrrrrruuuurrrrrrgggghhhh. The scene ends. (I wanted to have cabbageman actually die at the end. This would have climaxed the scene well but then of course I couldn’t use the character anymore!! So a bit of a dilemma. Unless of course he is always resurrected without question, like Kenny from South Park.
Only registered users can rate and write comments. Powered by AkoComment 2.0! |
||||||||||||||||||
 Previous item
|
Next item
|
|---|