Great Writing - Home > Poetry > An extraordinary life
READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 881 guests online and 2 members online
Poetry
An extraordinary life
By Nance
11 April 2006
An extraordinary life

I’ll spend with you and your remarks.

But if I look at you like this

Don’t tell me how to do my tasks.


Don’t shake your head while saying me

I mustn’t shake my head like that.

And when I try to warm your hands

Don’t make me feel you do not let.


Don’t criticize my tired look

As, anyway, I’ve come to meet.

Against your words, I always come

With broken heart, exhausted feet.


I know it’s hard "to bring me up"

But still I also do not bask.

When I forget what love is worth

Be certain, I will dare and ask.

Reviews
Locked outside.
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 11th April 2006
I've read this several times and I don't understand it. 
 
Who's talking to whom? 
 
I can't get "that" and "let". to rhyme. 
 
Is it a child to a parent? 
 
It seems to portray a very intense personal world and I feel that I'm locked outside of it. 
 
Brian.

Written by shadowplay (41 comments posted) 11th April 2006
'If something can be misinterpreted in a relationship, it will be' 
 
I presume. My personal reading of this is a sort of hate/love relationship where the one being referred to has misinterpreted and the poet is now trying to get their view across. 
 
I think this deserves to be sung as a melancholy guitar piece.

Written by Nance (86 comments posted) 11th April 2006
Dear Brian! This is my talk to a boyfriend. There are some relationship which are meant to break up. And sometimes there are words in your head you're not able to keep. Thank you for reading me and for the question.

Written by Nance (86 comments posted) 11th April 2006
Shadowplay! I also think so. There is a problem left - I can't play the guitar yet. :cry
An Extraordinary Life
Written by Josie (2849 comments posted) 15th April 2006
Nance, you asked me for my opinion. I am sorry but I didn't understand most of this poem. I see from above that it is about a break-up with your boyfriend. "I know it's hard to bring me up" - - - I thought it was your parents who brought you up. "But still I also do not bask" - - how, bask? Bask in what? I'm sorry, but when I can't understand something I can't pass judgement on it. I still haven't fathomed out what was extraordinary about your life. Sorry. Maybe it's a jigsaw puzzle for the reader.

Written by Nance (86 comments posted) 15th April 2006
Josie I really value your honesty 
Sometimes I write some puzzles, and most of my works exist perhaps for people to read them and to make their own conclusions. There are lines which everyone is supposed to take so how he imagine these things and to find and expose hidden sense. 
I know it's hard to bring me up" - this very line has not a right meening, I wanted to say, that it's hard for my boyfriend to make me different, such as he would like to see. You know, I am very independent. 
anyhow, a huge "thanks" for looking here

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item