1.
The oyster lies within its shell
Succulent, plump and salty sweet.
Removing it thence may well be hell--
but ah ! the result’s a gourmet treat.

2.
Join not with those benighted fools
who count an oyster’s kilojoules.
Such a project is but a waste--
Simply sit back and enjoy the taste.

3.
The oyster does not venture out
in search of darkly bottled Stout,
since being a quiet humble oyster
he has no deep need to rage and roister .
He leaves that to those who feel they must
use him to further salacious lust
when taking young maidens out to dinners
and plying them with champagne and Guinness
hoping with a gentle mollusc‘s assistance
to overcome a chaste resistance.

Alas , it is the oyster’s fate
that he himself may never mate
but ( according to the old tradition )
he helps young maidens to perdition !