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| The Rosary revised | |
| By imawentfan | ||||
| 18 April 2006 | ||||
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1877 words The Rosary Jade walked into the funeral home and immediately felt the weight of people’s stares. She looked around to see if she could find James. She had never met him in person but had seen him in a picture. Hope, James's sister, had given Jade her brother's address. "You should write to him, I think he would like that,'" Hope said one day. Jade and Hope had become friends after Hope had dated Jade's brother. At first Jade was hesistant about writing to James since she had never met him but later she decided she would write one letter as a favor to Hope. Jade did not think he would write back. But the correspondence between James and Jade went on for months with every letter becoming lengthier and more personal and their connection growing stronger as well. She found herself waiting for his letters. Jade had always been shy around boys, but with James she could express herself freely through her letters. He wrote to her about life in Iraq and how he missed his family. Then one time he told her he'd dreamt about meeting her. Jade had had a similar dream. She was afraid that once he was home, he would have someone waiting for him and he would forget about her. James had the same fears. He wondered why he could not stop thinking about her. Even before seeing her picture he knew she was beautiful. She signed the guestbook and turned off her cell phone. Small groups of people had gathered in the lobby and spoke softly to one another. Jade walked into the chapel and saw a few people walking out. She wondered what Hope would have thought of all the flowers that had been sent just for her. Pictures of James and Hope as well as other family members were displayed around her coffin. She saw James kneeling in front of the casket. She was afraid she was not as strong as she thought she would be. She was taken back to her own mother’s funeral. Her mother had died after a long battle with breast cancer. Suddenly her eyes burned with tears. Then she heard his soft sobbing. He probably didn’t want to be heard. She was not sure if she should interrupt him. So she decided to wait until he turned in her direction. James stood up and placed a rosary over Hope’s hand and made the sign of the cross. When he turned around he looked straight into Jade’s eyes. She was overtaken by his gaze. He was taller than she expected. He had the most intense blue eyes that she had ever seen which left her feeling in a trance. He wore a black suit and black tie. She immediately knew that he was aware of who she was. His eyes floated with tears that he quickly tried to wipe dry. He walked towards her and asked, “Jade?” “Yes,” she murmured the word, barely audible. Jade wanted to be strong but could not stop the flow of tears from her eyes. She was about to extend her hand to shake his and give him her condolences but before she could do that he reached for her and took her in his arms in a tight embrace. She had no choice but to hold him. At first she felt uncomfortable, but she felt that he needed someone to hold him and soothe his pain and she wanted to be that person. He felt like a little boy in her arms, vulnerable and lost. She had never been the one who comforted another person. After her mother’s death it seemed that everyone felt they needed to comfort her. He said something that she could not comprehend and she rubbed his back in an effort to make him feel better. “Oh James, I’m so sorry,” and as soon as she uttered the words he hid his face in her hair. She could feel his warm breath and the wetness from his tears along her neck. “I should have been here,” he cried. “It's not you’re fault James, you shouldn’t blame yourself,” she said as she cupped his face with her hands and looked into his eyes. “I can’t believe she's gone; I don't know if I can take this,” he cried again. “You’re going to survive this James, it’ll take time but this pain you’re feeling will subside." “James,” a woman’s voice came from the back of the chapel. He released her and looked up at the woman standing by the entrance. “James, your mother needs you,” she said, sounding impatient. “Tell her I’ll be right there," he called back to the woman. “Thank you for being here, Jade, it means a lot to me,” he whispered. He walked out with the woman. Jade walked up to the casket and looked at Hope for one last time. She was so beautiful even in death, and she wondered how someone so young and passionate could take her own life. How sad must she have been that she felt there was no other way out or solution? “I hope that you and my mother become great friends just like we were,” she whispered. She closed her eyes and wondered what Hope’s last thoughts were. “I will miss you so much. I will never forget you.” As she rose to her feet, she took one last look at Hope. She needed to get away, to think about something else. She felt her breathing becoming more forced and she feared she was having an anxiety attack. She made her way through the people and she thought she heard someone whisper her name. “What is she doing here, James?” Ellen asked. James had been engaged to Ellen for almost a year. He wondered if he had made a mistake in proposing to her. “She was Hope’s friend,” James said as he watched Jade head for the door. Before Jade reached the door she noticed James was sitting with Ellen She turned to look at him and their eyes locked for a few seconds. She waved goodbye, but before he could wave back she opened the door and walked out to the parking lot. The cool breeze hit her face and she took a deep breath. She reached for her phone to call her sister, but she heard someone walking behind her. When she turned around she saw James walking over to her. “Are you waiting for someone to drive you home?” he said. “I’m going to call my sister.” He walked over to his truck and said,” I’ll drive you home.” “It’s alright, James, I don’t want to keep you away from your family right now.” “I need to get out of here for a while,” he said as he opened the door for her. As they drove together in the night, there was a comfortable silence between them until he broke it. “I never thought it would end like this for Hope,” he murmured, as he kept his eyes on the road. “Its hard to accept something like this when it’s so sudden,” she said softly, turning to look at him. She never really knew what to say in situations like these. She could hardly believe that she was there with him so close after all those months of thinking about him. She had fantasized about meeting him for so long but she never thought it would be like this. She just couldn’t keep her eyes off of him. But then she felt guilty for having these thoughts now. He was grieving and was hardly thinking about what would happen between them now that they had finally met. Then he reached for her hand and turned to face her. “Will you go home with me?” he said as he held her hand. Jade was stunned by the question. She tried to hide her reaction but it was hard to control her racing heartbeat. “Okay,” she whispered not knowing how the word slipped out of her mouth. He looked into her eyes and could see the scared expression on her face. “You can say no, it’s alright, Jade”. “No, I want to,” she answered not sure what she was referring to. He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed her palm. She felt a warm feeling in her center which spread to the rest of her body. She was nervous but filled with anticipation at the same time. He pulled over to the curb and turned off the ignition. He walked to her side of the truck and opened the door for her. They walked into the house and she could feel her heart beating faster than before. How well did she really know him? Here she was alone in a house with a man she knew only through the letters they’d written each other. She looked around the living room and noticed there was very little furniture. When she looked back at him, he was standing by the front door. He walked into the small kitchen and asked her to sit down. He prepared a fresh pot of coffee and sat at the small table with her. She felt out of place and didn’t know how the break the silence. Then she noticed a photo album on the table. “Can I take a look?” she asked. He nodded and said “We were looking for a picture for the obituary.” “I remember helping my father do the same,” she said softly. “I always thought it would be me first, you know; I’ve come close a couple of times,” he murmured as he looked out the kitchen window. She closed the photo album and walked over to him. She knew she could be making the biggest mistake of her life but she still put her hands over his ears and brought his head against her chest as his arms wrapped around her waist. He lowered his hands to her hips and slowly pulled her against him so she straddled him on the chair. He reached for a strand of hair that had fallen over eyes and tugged it behind her ear. He kissed her lightly below her ear. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to be kissed by him. He stood up, wrapping her legs around his waist …… He waited for her as he sat shirtless at the kitchen table where it had started. He sat there thinking about her soft moans and her silky skin that he could still smell. Then she walked into the room, barefooted in her black wrap around dress, her hair messy and he knew at that moment he was in love with her. She sat at the table with James and reached for the cup of coffee he had poured for her. She looked at him and blushed when she remembered what they had done in his bedroom. He smiled at her knowing exactly what she was thinking, but she turned back to look at the photo album. Jade found a picture of James in his uniform and thought about what he had said earlier. “You have to come back to me, James,” she told him with conviction in her voice. “I will,” he said as he took a sip of his coffee.
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