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| Fidget the Midget | |
| By umbugjug | ||||||||
| 18 April 2006 | ||||||||
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this is the whole version, the first bits of which are already on here. finally i have worked out what exactly was making fidget wriggle and squirm. it was obvious really... Fidget the midget just couldn’t sit still He started on Monday And he’s fidgeting still He’d fidget in lessons. He’d fidget at tea. He’d even been fidgeting at Grandmother Bee’s. His mother and father Were simply perplexed. They really were troubled - Where would he start next? They sat him on cushions, He’d fidget a lot. They tried him with ice-cream – He’d just fidget with spots. Fidget the midget just couldn’t sit still He was wriggling Tuesday And he’s wriggling still He sat on a daisy But wriggled right off. He wriggled out of the garden At Old Uncle Moth’s Doctor McWicky - A fly of renown - Was called to come quickly, From the far side of town “Oh dear” he exploded, with a splutter and spit. “I really don’t like this. “Oh no, not a bit.” Fidget the midget just couldn’t sit still. He was jiggling Wednesday, And he’s jiggling still Down at the lily pond, He jiggled about. And as soon as he dived in He jiggled right out. Ointments and potions Were tried – they all failed. And a hot bath with salt in Made him jiggle and wail. “Call for the A-Team They’ll fix him I bet,” Said Old Uncle Moth. “Those Ants are the best” Fidget the midget just couldn’t sit still He was waggling Thursday And he’s waggling still The A-Team arrived, Said Hi to Old Moth, Then sat on poor Fidget – Who just shruggeled them off. The boss Ant looked sadly At the fidgetting kid. “We should make him a bug-pen!“ So that’s what they did. Fidget the midget just couldn’t sit still He was squirming on Friday And he’s squirming still The A-Team got started And soon it was built - A cage for poor Fidget, Stood on rickety stilts Poor Fidget looked mournful. “But mummy,” he said. “How will you read me stories Before I go to bed?” He tried it that night though, Asleep under stars. In his dreams he went slinking, Right out through the bars Fidget the midget just couldn’t sit still He zig-zagged on Saturday And he’s zig-zagging still His mother said “That’s it. Demolish, destroy! “This is no kind of bedroom For my wriggling boy.” So she sat her poor Fidget Right down on her knee And said “I’ll have a think dear” “Now, you eat your tea” It was Fidget’s best favourite Pips, nuts and honey. He just jiggled the plateful All over his mummy Fidget the midget Was lying still in his bed, Still, calm and restful, While his pleased mother read. Why was he tranquil? What stopped his worm dance? How did it happen, This serene circumstance? Well… That morning his mother Had given a hug “Alas my poor Fidget You sweet jumping bug” “Oh, mummy” said Fidget “Please help me, please” Then popped out of her arms As his poor mother squeezed. She told him she would help If she possibly could But who else was left In their part of the wood? They’d asked Doc McWicky Who was taken aback. And we all know he’s clever And no kind of quack. So they called in the A-Team - The finest of ants. They sat on poor Fidget Who wriggled out of his pants. Then a cage was constructed For the shruggling bug But that could not keep him As he squiggled and shrugged. His Mummy considered The strange circumstance. What was it made Fidget Wiggle, waggle and dance? But then it just struck her. “How could I not see?” She smiled at poor Fidget. And said, “Biscuits for tea?” He said “Please” to his Mummy, “That would be great.” So she went to the cupboard, And filled up his plate. He gnashed chomped and gobbled, “Yum, yum in my tum.” But crumbs flew all over - Most went under his bum. That was the solution - A crumby behind. “Thank goodness,” said Mummy “I’ve just been quite blind.” So from then after eating Some biscuits for tea Poor Fidget the Midget Is vaccumed all clean
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