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Poetry
Battle of the poets!
By JD
20 April 2006
I had a friend that would always say "come on let us pick a topic and see you can write better"
i would say " it is not a competition, it is about enjoying what we do, therefore let us do it together!"
this is why i wrote this poem........

Battle of the poets!
 
If Simply…..
All mortals could really sight
The greener immaturity of grass
Not just mere toil to feet
Of such as to graze concrete
To stand and examine
Instead of unswerving past
Or conscience of view
To an open setting so blue
Therefore it be my belief
As to when us poets do meet
That surely we’ve some work to do!



If Simply…..
All mortals could take pace
That is tardiness to time
Not instantly seize upon a seat
Admit surrender to defeat
Maybe to listen without speech
No talk just mime
Or acknowledge thoughts to score through
To where no man has flew
Therefore it be my belief
As to when us poets do meet
That surely we’ve some work to do!

 
If Simply…..
All mortals could give riddance
To the bustle of frustration
Not to create necessitate to compete
Then latent in dotage touch grief
So I inscribe to you all
My poetically skilled fellow man
Lets show to forget of when why and who
Lets set emotions past and pastures set new
Therefore it be my belief
As to when us poets do meet
That surely “together” we’ve some work to do!
 
JD
 
 

Reviews
Fontification
Written by steve666 (50 comments posted) 22nd April 2006
You are a slave to the font, JD! And there is no missing your posts! 
After reading a couple of your works, i can see a pattern emerging - being new to writing, i don't know its name, but you use it well. I am referring to the repetition of words or lines. It is a good skill when used in moderation. 
I can't pretend to understand all of this piece, but hey-ho, nevermind. 
It sometimes reads a little awkwardly, but its first lines save the day. 
'If simply' is great usage of just two words. :)

Written by mumblemuble (2 comments posted) 30th December 2007
i really enjoyed this piece, though like steve666 said, at times it does read awkwardly. i especially liked your use of words like "dotage" and "riddance". i think that they're quirky, uncommon words that give this peice a pleasant character.  
overall a very enjoyable piece to read. well done :grin

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