You meet all sort in writers groups.To understand this sketch you really do need to read the other Heavenly Body sketch by Brian,they sort of go together. I hope he doesn't mind.
I was aware of him straight away. I just knew I was going to have trouble with this one. Not unattractive in an everyman sort of way but he had this strange way of looking at you, you wanted blink for him, I don’t remember him ever doing it. Mind, it’s not something I do a lot since the Botox. I’ve found this little man who’ll give me as much as I want to get that doe-eyed look. He must have liked it, kept sneaking glances at my face when he thought I wasn’t looking. He showed no overt interest but a woman can just tell. Poetry was his thing in the group and most of his was, I flatter myself, aimed at me; unconsciously perhaps. Blokes are like that though, not really aware of their feelings.
He seems fascinated by hair, perhaps it’s because he has so little of his own. Anyway I kept my distance. His writing put me off, the poems were all right but the stories, especially the sci-fi stuff were way too weird and scary. I bet he has a shelf full of Star trek DVDs. Though,he could be quite funny when he wasn’t trying to impress
Anyway the trouble started when we met up again months later. I’d just come out the hairdressers after a disastrous colour rinse- Sunny Auburn, my fat arse! There he was, my eyes started to water in reflex. I’m not sure if it was a coincidence but he insisted it was.As we chatted, the bugger kept staring at my hair so I suggested we went for a coffee. Well instead of talking about writing he starts getting all intense and fidgety, waving his arms around; going on about shabby planets, colliding particles, and predetermined paths and how I would destroy him. What could I do? To avoid a scene I invited him for a meal and I’m waiting for him now. I’ve got everything ready. I’ve decided on some liver. I like liver. I’ve got my best kitchen knives and covered the floor; the Chianti is in the fridge and the Fava beans on the boil. That’s the thing with men like that they’re never missed
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Cat's claws are out
Written by givitsum (651 comments posted) 20th April 2006 |
Oooh! I hope this is the start of a boys vs girls story writing campaign! Brook, Gwynn and BottleBadenPowell against the lads. Marvellous.
PS you are getting quite witty in your old age blondebillybunter  |
deja vu
Written by woody44 (766 comments posted) 20th April 2006 |
nicely written little piece MrsB, and a smashing ending. I once went on a writing course at the local arts centre and fancied the girl next to me like mad(before i was married of course!) Glad it wasn`t you MrsB or I might have ended up helping to prop up a motorway flyover... Then again perhaps the liver and Chianti would have been worth it...
happy writing... |
Pens at dawn BBS
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 20th April 2006 |
This piece most definitely has my "Seal of approval". (For what it's worth)
Brian |
Hi BBS
Written by jean.day (2208 comments posted) 28th July 2006 |
| I can't imagine how I managed to miss this all those months ago. What fun! You certainly paint an interesting picture. Well done. Now I know I have a few more similar ones to read to look forward to. |
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