AGAIN ANOTHER VERSE FROM THE HAPPY ANTHEM OF THE MASSED CHOIRS OF THE ISLAMIC BRANCH OF THE RAMBLERS ASSOCIATION

'WE LOVE TO GO A WANDERING ALONG THE RAILWAY TRACK.
WE ALWAYS BUY A SINGLE 'CAUSE WE WON'T BE COMING BACK!

VALAREEEE!.....VALARAAA!... VALAREEEE! VALA RA HA HA HA!

WATCH YER ARSE!.... [WATCH YER ARSE!].. INFIDEL!.. [INFIDEL!]..

THERE'S SEMTEX NEATH OUR MAC!

 



It is the plush London Offices of Piers Paters - Chequebook, MA Oxon. BT Director of Human Resourses. It is his first interview of the day and he is thumbing through the BT Management Handbook. There is a knock on his door.


Piers. Enter..... Ah, Mr.... er... Bin Lid?

Ossie. Handle.

Piers. Ah, yes. Please sit down Mr Bin Handle.

Ossie. The Infidel is most gracious.

Piers. My what a large rucksack you have with you. I wonder what you have in there?

Ossie. By the Will of God, life holds many surprises.

Piers. Now. I read from your CV that your last job was.......let me se....Ah yes. The complete desruction of the United States.

Ossie. God is Great!

Piers. Super. Now First question. Why did you leave your last employment? Was there some disatisfaction with your work?

Ossie. By The Sacred Sword of Kahn!! The Offendi insults The Servant of Allah!! The Cailif's Curse shall blight his blastphemous tongue and his sons' and their sons' sons unto the generations!!

Piers. Best put that down as a No, eh? Next question. Under 'Particular Skills'. I see you have listed Mass Murder; Money Laundering; Genocide and International Terrorism.

Ossie. I trust the Infidel will find my references are impeccable.

Piers. Quite so. Now which of these particular skills do you think would most benefit BT Corporate Policy?

Ossie. By The Grace of God, I am most gifted in striking down the innocent.

Piers. Splendid! Splendid Bin Loofa! Here at BT we prefer to call it Downsizing. So another question: How would you propose to go about helping us get rid of large numbers of people? Redundancy?

Ossie. Ricin.

Piers. Excellent Bin Loafer! Now. Explain your answer.

Ossie. Believe me Infidel, I am planning the biggest downsizing since a fourteenth century Romanian peasant said to his pet rat,  'Oi! What's these funny red blotches under my arm!?'

Piers. Sounds fascinating. Our Board will be most intrigued.They always like to hear of anything that gets round employment legislation. Now you will have to consent to a Police Check. Have you any problem with this? Anything you'd like to tell me before I send it off? 

Ossie. Where shall I begin? How many stars are in the night sky? How many grains of sand in the desert?

Piers. Well this is most promising. I think you are going to fit in very well at BT. You will be working at the Post Office Tower. Tallest building in London, you know.
Now lastly. Do you have any questions?

Ossie. Tallest building in London, you say?

Piers.  Towers above everything.

Ossie. What are its co- ordinates?


TO BE CONTINUED..  SOON!...