Alrighty, this is a story that was supposed to stay under 1500 words, however my imagination got out of hand and this happend, it's the first part of a seven part story
I was drunk. As usual on a Friday night or Saturday morning, they’re both kind of the same. But anyway, I was stumbling out of the bar and jumped on my bike. I missed. The bastard had made a run for it. I was chasing after my bike, who was trying to escape from me, and making a very good job of it. The cold air was rushing around my head and was unpleasantly though swiftly replaced by ice-cold water.
I had fallen into a small river. This was odd, there wasn’t a river anywhere near the pub. Nor a forest but I had somehow managed to stumble upon both. My bike was nowhere to be seen, so I had drunkenly assumed that it had drowned in the river as it tried to escape me. I felt somewhat guilty. Though not for very long. This had something to do with the fact that the bike was a piece of crap. However, it had more to do with the fact that I had fallen asleep already.
A peculiar feeling washed over me as I awoke the next morning. The feeling was a combination of the consequences one can expect from a night of binge drinking and sleeping upside down with my feet tied to the branch of a tree. I could loosely remember the drinking, I couldn’t remember having the competence to tie myself to a tree. While my mind was baffled my eyes were observing the lustrous green and smoking environment. It took a while to register… smoke…
Then it hit me hard in the face like only a very obvious solution can. There was a half boy half pony kindling a fire right under me. ‘Erm… Who… or rather what are you?’ I wondered aloud, my mind taken aback by what my eyes witnessed. ‘I’ said the young creature in a dignified voice whilst raising his chin and shooting me a disgusted look ‘am Gary. I’m an Ipotane’ ‘Oh’ I uttered, not having a clue what an Ipotane was supposed to be ‘why have you caught me? Why are you lighting a fire’? ‘I’m making a fire so I can roast you for my fellows’ answered the young creature with a slight leer travelling across his face. ‘I shall show them that I am the best cook and the fastest hunter of the forest by offering them roasted human meat’ ‘Err… wasn’t I sleeping on the ground?’ I enquired, because I could vaguely remember running, though not this young nag. ‘No one needs to know that’ replied Gary ‘I would have caught you anyway’.
‘Ah’ I proclaimed, whilst trying to come to terms with the fact that I was going to be barbequed by an undiscovered species of talking pony.
‘Oi, Gary’ proclaimed a jovial voice ‘what’re ya doing’? It was a badger. A peculiar badger. Though the most peculiar fact wasn’t that the badger was talking, nor that it was walking up straight. The most peculiar fact was that the badger was wearing a suit, without a tie in a very casual manner. ‘Oh hi there Bogsworth’ said Gary in an indifferent voice ‘I’ve caught this human and I’m preparing him for my fellows.
Gary had now managed to get the fire blazing. ‘You sure you caught him did you?’ asked Bogsworth ‘because I think I can recall a certain young Ipotane hauling a sleeping human across the forest in the middle of the night’. Gary seemed to instantly become less indifferent to Bogsworth’s words. Bogsworth was smiling now. ‘I would have caught him if he’d have tried to run’ said Gary with some anxiety in his voice.
‘But I’ll guess we’ll never know if you would’ve caught him, will we?’ responded Bogsworth ‘unless…’ ‘Unless what?’ Exclaimed Gary. ‘Well, if you were to race him and finish first, I might start to doubt what my sleepy eyes witnessed early this morning’ continued Bogsworth with a sly smile across his badgery face. Needless to say Bogsworth was on his way to becoming my favourite badger. Not that I knew many badgers. Not personally anyway.
However, Gary agreed to race me. ‘Don’t think you’ll end up any better, human’ he taunted ‘I’m the fastest of the forest’. ‘What’s this forest called anyway?’ I asked trying to stretch some time to conjure up the perfect plan to save my hopeless self. ‘I’ll tell you if you win’ responded Bogsworth looking amused. ‘The first to pass the heart shaped rock in the clearing over there wins the race’ declared Bogsworth while pointing to a bit of forest with a lower density of trees. ‘On the count of three’ said Bogsworth.
Bogsworth had barely said three and Gary was speeding away. He truly was very fast. He won the race. At least I think he did. It’s not that I don’t care; I really like sports and such. But the moment Bogsworth said three I dashed into the exact opposite direction of where Gary was heading. While I was focusing every bit of me into running I heard someone laughing loudly behind me.
Only registered users can rate and write comments.
Please login or register.