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Science Fiction and Fantasy
The Jaws of the Dragon - Chapter 1
By employee2-4601
13 April 2005
This is the first part of a sci-fi novel I've been working on for the past two months. I'm not sure it works so would like any feedback, positive or negative.

Chapter 1

As it glided effortlessly through the void, the crew of the stellar cargo ship Dragon slept peacefully. The computer guided the massive bulk of the ship between worlds as it left the solar system for the unknown. This was no great voyage of discovery. The ‘crew' were all condemned men and women who had committed crimes against the people of earth. These criminals were considered too dangerous to be anywhere on earth or the colonies and so, after much deliberation, they were put aboard the Dragon and set adrift in space. Five people were aboard the ship, and none of them knew their destination. In all truthfulness, neither did the people who built the ship. They had been content to programme the computers on board to find some suitable piece of rock and land. It was hoped that this new punishment might become an accepted, albeit costly, solution to combating crime in the solar system.
Alexander Wilson didn't dream. He never dreamt, asleep or awake, he simply left the real world for one of eternal darkness.
Rosemary (Surname unknown) dreamt of her childhood. She remembered times when happiness had been found in simple things; times when she was never alone; times before she began having the visions.
Joanna Atkins mulled over hypothetical situations. The situations differed in nature from one moment to the next. One might be centred on a numerical problem, another on whether Napoleon or Alexander was the greater ruler, or whether mankind was right to try and conquer the cosmos.
Edward Jenkins' dreams were too disgusting, too perverted for any other human being. His dreams were of the people he had met during his life and his relationships with them. Here was a man who was deeply disturbed.
And then there was Robert (surname also unknown). Robert was a mystery, even to himself. No-one was sure exactly who or what he was. At seventeen, he had no memory of the years prior to his conviction. Whatever his previous life had been, it was a complete mystery; he saw nothing of it, not even in his dreams.
Five people; one ship; an unknown destination.
On the main navigation console three red lights winked on and off intermittently. Above them, another shone a steady blue. Passing within a stone's throw of a large moon, the ship's computer ran a swift calculation. Achieving a conclusion it found acceptable, the computer activated the relevant systems and brought the ship into a stable orbit around the unfamiliar world below it. Its first primary function complete, the computer set about accomplishing the second; reviving the crew.
Before the process could begin, the ship needed gravity. In the centre of the cylindrical hull was housed an immense rotation mechanism. Slowly coming to life, it powered the enormous wheel-shaped centrifuge that housed the living quarters of the crew. With gravity and atmosphere simulated to the correct standards, the crew were slowly woken.
In order to prevent the criminals from being able to divert the ship's course, they had been ‘frozen' for the journey. Sealed in capsules that supplied them with the essentials to sustain life, the crew's body temperatures were brought down low enough to keep them alive but too low to remain awake.
Alexander was the first to rise. Shaking his tired limbs, he ripped the pads from his forehead and chest that monitored his bodily functions. Rubbing his eyes, he left his ‘coffin' and walked to his locker. Alexander felt a slight tingling in his legs. Symptoms, he had been told, of recovering from hibernation. He donned the jumpsuit he found inside his locker and looked out through the view port.
"Bastards!" he shouted, seeing a strange world below instead of the familiar earth.
"You slimy bastards. What are we meant to do out here, colonise the place?"
He spun round on hearing movement behind him. Alexander relaxed when he saw Robert slowly easing himself from his own capsule. It was no use saying anything, the boy never talked except to himself.
Why am I here? Robert asked himself. What did I do to end up here?
"I could use a good meal," yawned Rosemary, "Hungry Robert?" The boy said nothing, but he followed her to the galley.
Half an hour later everyone was seated around the dinner table. Pushing his plate away, Edward chuckled to himself and looked round at his companions, seemingly wondering if anyone else had got the joke.
"What's so funny?" asked Joanna.
"I was just thinking, isn't this the part where one of us has stomach trouble?" No-one laughed though they all understood.
Robert stood and left, muttering to himself. When the door had shut behind him, Rosemary stood and made to follow.
"Might as well leave him," said Joanna, "He ain't normal; best have nothing to do with him."
Rosemary looked at the door, then returned to her seat. Edward chuckled again but kept the joke to himself. Alexander cleared away the plates and chucked them into the wash-basin. Sliding the shutter closed, he pressed a button and heard the machinery begin. Satisfied, he returned to his seat and considered the companions he had had forced upon him. One was a perverted maniac; another had delusions that she was destined to live forever and inherit the universe; there was the serial killer who seemed perfectly normal until she found out you had money; the boy was apparently part drug-addict, part sadist, part masochist; and there was himself. Alexander, in his own mind, was nearer to being a normal human being than any of them. The truth was quite different. Murder, rape, arson, terrorism; his crimes numbered higher, and sometimes worse, than any of the others.
"I wish you lot'd stop this incessant chatter," chortled Edward until a look from Alexander silenced him.
Rosemary left the galley and went in search of Robert. She had only known him for a few days, but already she felt that he would be her heir. After hunting from deck to deck, Rosemary found him on the observation level, gazing out towards the distant light of Sol.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Rosemary said, standing next to the boy.
Robert nodded.
"You know, I've been thinking," she continued, "We all know I'm going to rule the universe some day, but I need someone to take over if I die. Would you like to be that person?"
Robert nodded.
How do I make her go away? he asked himself.
"G-go away," he murmured.
Rosemary was startled by the sound of Robert's voice, "What did you say?"
"Go away; l-leave me alone."
There! he thought triumphantly, I've said it, now she'll have to go back to the others.
Rosemary felt glad that the boy had finally said something, but was annoyed with the words he had chosen.
"Why do you want me to leave? I've promised you the universe, are you trying to say you don't want that?"
Robert shook his head.
"I want to b-be alone today."
Rosemary smiled and left the observation deck, eager to tell the others that Robert had spoken to her. She wouldn't tell them about her offer, oh no, that would be too much. But if they thought that she had given Robert the gift of speech herself, then perhaps they would be more willing to accept her as ruler when her time came. Before Rosemary made it to the galley, the warning klaxon began its shrill squealing. She broke into a run, all thoughts of domination banished to the back of her mind.
"What's wrong?" she asked when she reached the bridge.
"How the fuck should I know?" yelled Edward, "I'm not a pilot, I don't know how to fly this thing."
"You could at least take a look at the controls," Alexander cut in, "See if you can make any sense of them."
Rosemary looked, but she had no more idea of how they worked than the others. A panel blew out, showering the room with sparks. The view port showed the planet below them getting steadily closer and closer. Whilst the crew were frantically screaming at each other, Robert walked onto the bridge and sat in the navigator's chair. His eyes were fixed on the radar screen, his mind entranced by the different colours and sounds. Without thinking, he began pressing buttons and pulling switches.
"Stop that; are you bloody crazy?" shouted Joanna. She ran over and shoved Robert out of his chair. However, it was too late for any of them to do anything to stop their rapid descent.
Half the ship was wrecked by the crash; the other half was badly damaged. When they had finally come to a grinding halt, the crew checked themselves for any injuries. Edward's arm was broken in two places and Joanna had a couple of fractured ribs. Alexander managed to salvage a medical kit and managed to patch the two up sufficiently for them to move about. Other than that, they were in good shape. Robert went back to his seat and resumed flicking switches and pushing buttons. But, no matter what he did, he couldn't bring the display back on.
"What do we do now?" asked Rosemary,
"Good question," snapped Alexander, "Maybe you could start by seeing what works around here."
She did as he ordered and found that little was functioning. The computer was completely destroyed, a ceiling girder having crashed through the CPU. The food in the galley freezer was undamaged as was the freezer itself. In the sleeping quarters, Rosemary found that hardly anything had suffered damage, though one or two locker doors were open slightly. It was then that she saw the great rent in the hull. Through it, Rosemary could see the landscape they had landed in.
They were in a valley. Lush grass covered the valley for miles around; here and there were dotted several trees similar in size and shape to oak trees. The sun shone down through the clouds, bathing the area in golden light. But nowhere could Rosemary see animals or people; the planet seemed deserted.

Reviews
Good environment for drama
Written by tamper (18 comments posted) 13th April 2005
...but I feel I've heard a lot of this before, by watching movies like 'Pitch Black', 'Alien' etc. 
 
Some of it reads well, but other parts (particularly the opening) read more like a synopsis than an opening chapter. I'd prefer to see the first para - in fact, everything up to "...an unknown destination" chopped completely, and the information in it hinted at through character's dialogue. 
 
But this will make for a promising start, so long as we quickly move away from the murderous character conflicts (Pitch Black style) I'm expecting to come, and instead flip that genre on its head to create something original. 
 
Ah, I read the second bit first!
Written by spiderbaby49 (137 comments posted) 15th April 2005
Will read this and then , hopefully , the third bit and then do a proper review. 
 
spidey
I liked it...
Written by DustinBowcott (66 comments posted) 29th April 2005
Maybe could have done with an extra draft, and I haven't clicked with any of the characters yet. But overall I will be definitely reading part two.
Like it
Written by Alice (64 comments posted) 16th November 2005
 
I know you posted this a while ago, but having just read it, I think the first part is good, and the chapter reads well. There isn't anything wrong with the story, so far, and I am looking forward to reading the rest, which I have yet to do. The characters are interesting, and compels the reader to continue reading - which is what it's all aboout. 
 
:)  
 
 
Alice
Like it
Written by Alice (64 comments posted) 16th November 2005
 
I know you posted this a while ago, but having just read it, I think the first part is good, and the chapter reads well. There isn't anything wrong with the story, so far, and I am looking forward to reading the rest, which I have yet to do. The characters are interesting, and compels the reader to continue reading - which is what it's all aboout. 
 
:)  
 
 
Alice

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