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By doxy1480
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26 April 2006 |
What a fantastic ring that intruded the night! The fabricated hymeneal bells awakened a slumber, and heralded a request: A plea for a chalice to authenticate your façade. Searching for a pabulum for my mental health, I assisted you in your aspirations of impressing. Impressing them, yet degrading me, I would not be content with less. The lobes in my cortex are ecstatic from the news of my humiliation. Does your pride as a Sabra allow you to trample my sanity like the negritude of ignorant blacks?
You move in like a zephyr taking advantage of my sexual appetite. This breeze lasts till it arrives to the desert, where I’m left dried out like the cactus beside me. Using my body like the nobility used the yeomantry, I feel as if my labor reaps no benefits. Do not take this lightly, for my feelings are lucid, not like your desultory actions towards me.
If only I could be that chalice: You wouldn’t have to delay exhibiting me until an umbra appeared anymore. But I know your secret too. You camouflage yourself with valerian flowers, when in reality it is not the sweet fragrance you enjoy, but instead the sedative qualities that calm your nerves.
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'Allo, 'Allo!!
Written by Bagheera (683 comments posted) 25th April 2006 | Don't take this the wrong way, but I feel you're trying too hard with the extravagant 'sound' of the metaphors you choose!
I'm reminded of a Shakespeare line (from 'The Scottish Play' - it's supposed to be bad luck in certain circles to mention the name of the play out loud!  )
" .... it is a tale told by an idiot/Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing" [Act V sc.v]
You obviously love words and the sound of our wonderful language [PS Join my Club!!  ]
However: lke salt, which is vital to life, there is always the danger of OVER-use. Sometimes it's better to follow the advice of the KISS acronym: Keep It Short & Simple  | puzzled
Written by misscontrary (17 comments posted) 26th April 2006 | I'm very sorry, but i don't understand a word of this.
No doubt my lack of something but there it is.
The adjectives and metaphors are so complicated that I had to read it out loud just to ensure i wasn't missing something. But I'm afraid I still am.
I do admire your obvious extensive knowledge of this beautiful language of ours though, and wish I had a fraction of it.
xx | I liked this ....
Written by johniebg (541 comments posted) 2nd May 2006 | | It is a bit wordy but these words slow you down and add weight to the rest and always seem in context. Sounds like the self loathing of a willing victim. I could of course be completely wrong but thats the beauty of something like this. |
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