March 19
 
Something’s happened. I don’t know what. I don’t know where. I don’t know how. I have a feeling something terrible has happened. I’m unsure of everything to do with it, but I know something has happened. My parents died a few years ago and I went to live with my grandparents. I’m on school camp now, but I know something has happened back  home.
    I would have probably been told if my Gran had died, she was very frail when I left, but I haven’t heard any news of the sort. I’d know if the cat, Scribbles, had died, but there’s a more serious tone to the feelings I’m getting.
    My Grandad can’t cope well on his own, he’d have called for me to go home if Gran has died. Maybe he wants me to enjoy myself, so hasn’t told me. But would he do that? He’s 79, I think he’d have called by now.
    Or maybe they’ve both died. I can’t be sure of anything, but something has happened. All my friends are happy, but how can I be with this weight clinging on to my shoulders. If they have died I’ll have to live with my Auntie Sue. She’s different to my
Grandparents, she’s got a different tone to life, that’s what I don’t like about her. My mum was always like her parents but her sister was different. She always used to lock herself out of family life, she used to live with us until this guy, Mike came along. He’s just like her, they’re the perfect couple said my Gran, before she got sick.
    She’s more or less bed ridden now. She’s been like that for almost a year. I hated it at first. She couldn’t get out of bed and I depended on her for most things. I have to cook the tea and do everything when I'm at home so coming on camp was a big step for me and Grandad. If he can handle this then he can handle the times when I’m away In future years. I’ve always been excused from school activities because of it.
    When Grandad said that he would let me go on camp I felt like I was on top of the world. For the first time I’d be allowed away without them. But when it got to about a month before I had to come away I started to get worried. What if something happened to Gran and Grandad didn’t know what to do. I started to get ready meals and explain to him how to use the microwave. He could use the oven but the microwave is quicker and not too