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Great Writing - Home > Comedy > Feed My...Pidgeons?
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Comedy
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| Feed My...Pidgeons? | |
| By Psimple | ||||||||
| 03 May 2006 | ||||||||
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A short look at how to give and how not to give... To a charity, to a church, to a friend... Feed my…pigeons? Topic: Stewardship, Giving Setting: A park, park bench Scene: 2 people feeding the birds in the park, different views of how to give Props: A bench, 2 paper bags, confetti? Characters: person 1: Not a very giving person. Doesn’t enjoy giving. Gives out of a sense of obligation and guilt. Person 2: Gives with reckless abandon, without a care for the effect of the giving. Sees this whole thing as a lark, not a care in the world. Scene opens with person 1 sitting on a bench with a paper bag. P1 is very carefully opening the brown paper bag just enough to get his/her hand in the bag. P1 is pulling out one tiny bread crumb at a time and throwing it out to the birds. P1: Here. (Throws out a crumb) Stop fighting. (Flicks some birds away with the tip of his/her toe) Not so close!! I’m here, but I don’t have to like you…back up!! Person 2 enters the scene very giddy and peppy. Carelessly swinging the bag of bread crumbs. Comes to the bench and sits down right next to P1. P2: Hi there! Isn’t it beautiful out… P1: (interrupts) Move over. P2: What? P1: Move over. Personal space… (Pulls out another bread crumb and throws it to the birds) P2: Oh, sorry… (P2 opens bag and pulls out a handful of bread crumbs, then throws them over his/her shoulder, behind the bench.) P1: (shocked) what are you doing?!! P2: Feeding the birds. J Isn’t this great?! (Throws another handful behind the bench) P1: Stop that!! P2: stop what? (Another handful goes over the shoulder) P1: Stop wasting the bread crumbs!! P2: What are you talking about? P1: The birds are out here. (Carefully throws another crumb) P2: So? P1: You’re throwing the crumbs into a thorn bush. P2: I know. Isn’t it exciting? (Over goes another handful) P1: The birds can’t get the food there. They’ll starve!! P2: Nah…if they’re hungry enough, they’ll go where the food is. P1: Not if they can’t get there! P2: Well, you’ve got them pretty close to desperation with that system you’re using. P1: I’m being responsible. I’m not being wasteful and…and…silly. P2: (points to the birds) Oh yeah? Look at that, you’re causing a pigeon riot. Tell me that isn’t silly!! P1: Oh please!! It’s not a riot. That just shows they know how important these bread crumbs are. They appreciate what a treasure I’m giving them. P2: (Scoots over close to P1) Sounds like you have some ego issues. P1: What are you talking about? P2: It looks to me like… P1: Would you move over!! P2: (scoots over a smidge)…as I was saying…it looks like you’re only out here with these guys because you need the attention. P1: (stuttering in stunned protest)…I need…from birds?...attention… P2: Yep…it’s all about you isn’t it? You don’t even care about these little guys. (Throws another handful behind the bench) P1: And you do??? You’re not even feeding them!! They’ll go insane trying to get those crumbs out from under that thorn bush. P2: So? P1: (not losing a beat) …it’s cruel and unusual punishment… P2: Oh lighten up; it’s not that important… P1: It is to them!! You’re just in this for the excitement. P2: It’s just bread crumbs… P1: the bread of life!! P2: Who’s it gonna hurt? Look, you’re acting like these crumbs are made of gold. We got them for free!! That guy around the corner was just handing them out. If they were so important he wouldn’t just give them away… P1: That’s exactly why we need to be so careful with them…at the rate he’s giving these bags away, they’ll be gone soon and then what will the birds do? P2: You don’t get it. P1: I don’t get you… P2: If that guy could see the way you’re torturing these birds by giving them one tiny little crumb at a time, he wouldn’t have given that bag to you at all. P1: unbelievable. P2: I’m serious. He gave you the bag so you could do something useful with it… P1: Oh really? (Looks pointedly over the back of the bench and then at P2, clears throat) P2: Huh… (Sheepishly moves around to the back of the bench and starts scooping the bread crumbs up and putting them back in the bag) P1: (carefully and slowly opens the bag and reaches for handful of crumbs, just as he/she holds hand open and low for the birds to eat the lights go down)
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