Great Writing - Home > Poetry > T'was on a starry night of old...
Poetry
T'was on a starry night of old...
By employee2-4601
13 April 2005
I wrote this after watching a version of Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven" performed by The Simpsons (groans all round.) I like the gothic genre and thought I'd have a go myself. I also like wolves, so you'll see references to wolves in quite a few of my pieces of work.

Twas on a starry night of old,

When the wind blew ever cold;

I sat beside my merry blaze,

The glow playing across my face.

I sat beside my merry blaze,

I sat beside my merry blaze,The glow playing across my face.

Outside all was restive and angry;

The trees bending under a stormy fury.

Outside all was restive and angry;

Outside all was restive and angry;The trees bending under a stormy fury.

Amidst the raging tempest foul,

I could discern the distant howl

Of Wolf out on the hills in the dead of night,

Of Wolf out on the hills in the dead of night,When moon shown full and bright.

I sat in my chair shivering and shaking,

The icy howls set my nerves to quaking.

I sat in my chair shivering and shaking,

I sat in my chair shivering and shaking,The icy howls set my nerves to quaking.

Pulling the curtains firmly closed,

I returned to my chair and presently dozed;

Pulling the curtains firmly closed,

Pulling the curtains firmly closed,I returned to my chair and presently dozed;

Dreaming of nought but that beast without,

Dreaming of nought but that beast without,I woke suddenly giving a might shout.

For there before me stood a demonic form,

His claws, by the fire, coloured like the dawn.

We locked stares, he and I;

We locked stares, he and I;The one terrible, the other well nigh

Terror's cold embraces when I saw,

Terror's cold embraces when I saw,The beast had passed through my bolted door.

Without sound he moved behind my chair

Without sound he moved behind my chairAnd I was loath to turn and stare

At the hunter whose eyes

Had so coldly beheld mine.

With much effort I turned round to see

With much effort I turned round to seeThe room empty but for me.

What apparition had visited me in the dead of night,

To so suddenly vanish from my sight?

What creature could come through locked portal,

To instil such terrible fear in a mere mortal

Such as I and leave without snarl or growl?

Such as I and leave without snarl or growl?But as I pondered I heard his howl

Out on the cold hilltops far, far away;

Such a sound I shall remember all my days.

Such a sound I shall remember all my days.

 

 

The next night he returned at the same hour;

His steely gaze holding some unworldly power

His steely gaze holding some unworldly powerOver me that I should always need to know

Wherever my strange companion should go.

There was much I would have asked had I not

Been cowed; yet neither question nor thought

Entered my mind ‘til after he had departed.

That final night I was suddenly started

From my sleep by the first sound the wolf made.

Yet seeing him I felt nothing but loathing and hate.

From his great grey throat there came a deep growl,

As if to say ‘I am here whilst you sleep in your cowl.'

As if he knew my every thought, the wolf sat still,

Watching me, his eyes taking in their fill.

‘To what purpose are you here each night

When the moon is shining full and bright?'

For my outburst I was given nought,

And deep inside I barely fought

With the urge to turn and flee,

Placing the door twixt him and me.

Placing the door twixt him and me.As I moved to stand, he rose too,

Watching me through and through.

Watching me through and through.By the fire stood a poker of steel,

And from its blows the wolf did reel.

And from its blows the wolf did reel.None marked his silver fur,

But outside I could hear,

But outside I could hear,The peel of a bell at each strike;

I saw in the dim firelight,

My weapon bent and twisted

By the blows it had visited

By the blows it had visited

On the wolf now vanished,

 

 

His fur never tarnished.

 

Since then each starry night,

When the moon is full and bright,

I heard his howls on the distant slopes

Each cry deadening my hopes.

Each cry deadening my hopes.I prayed that he would leave me be,

But not one night's rest did he grant me.

And still I see his silver form,

When the winter nights are long.

Reviews
Initial reaction
Written by Betsie ( comments posted) 14th April 2005
My first thoughts on this piece are that here and there the rhythm (syllables in a line) requires tweaking. It is quite a long poem so you could look up the ballad form - this might help you to hone it further. It is worth working on I think
Hi employee2-4601
Written by spiderbaby49 (137 comments posted) 15th April 2005
is there a reason you are spacing your work like this? Are you writing directly on to site or copying and pasting from word? It's your preference of course, but it does make it a little hard to read and the poetry would flow much better if it was tighter and I did not have to keep my finger on the scroll down button. I'll come back to this shortly to review it.  
 
spidey

Written by Songster (52 comments posted) 15th April 2005
I agree with betsie. This is a promising poem but for this kind of poem you need to pay more attention to rhythm. I use my fingers to count the syllables and the stress pattern. It doesn't need to be rigid but yours is, at the moment, all over the place. 
i also agree with spidey that it is hard to read spread out like this.
We need the space!
Written by employee2-4601 (37 comments posted) 15th April 2005
Thanks for pointing that out about the spacing. I didn't realise it was doing that all the time. I'll try and sort it out ASAP.
good content and theme
Written by kevinrobson73 (781 comments posted) 3rd May 2005
was difficult lay out for the reader 
did you mean to repeat those last lines on each verse for emphasis -i'm not sure if that helped with the flow 
other than that you did a difficult topic/genre well

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item