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Poetry


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No Way

By GilesLascelle

09 May 2006

Speaks for itself I think. Would be very grateful for some feedback

It seems there is no way

But I know you made one.

Before you did

There was no hope,

No way

No how

No thing I could do

To make it through,

No escape

From the place you found me.

So though I moan

About how hard

How narrow, twisted, long

How it goes through

These crazy toxic places,

Still,

You made a way

To pick up strays

Out of every gutter.

Made it

With your own feet in the filth,

Marked it with tears

And blood and pain.

You still dance it with cripples,

Lay down your self

For the lonely, loveless lost

Along its entire length,

Beginning to endless end.

Till there is nothing I can do

Except tell anyone who’ll listen;

There’s no way

But you.

Reviews

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3590 comments posted) 9th May 2006

This is where I show myself up and my ignorance about poetry because I'm not sure I got it.
All I know as I read it I had a feeling of hopelessnes as if it was feted and you were powerless in the relationship.
I found it quite unsettling. Well that is how it affected me.

Written by GilesLascelle (4 comments posted) 11th May 2006

thanks for the comments BBS - it may be this is where I show my lack of skill. To be honest I was a bit surprised by your reaction, since I had intended it to be anything but hopeless. Helpless yes, but full of hope was what I was aiming at.

Still if it didn't come across that way to you, that's fine. I'd be interested to hear if others share that reaction though.

Cheers

Giles

Written by brook_rivers (486 comments posted) 17th May 2006

There was certainly an element of hoplessness in the poem but I felt the 'you' in the poem did convey a sense of hope amongst all the filth and grime, the 'you' referred to seemed almost like a saviour/saint selflessly helping others.
The vocab you used was powerful but I think the structure of the poem could benefit from a revise. Obviously you are going for free verse rather than rhyme but I think you could make the poem a lot more fragmented which IMO would compliment the poem more.

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