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Comedy
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| Becalmed | |
| By BrianRobertNeal | ||||||||||
| 15 May 2006 | ||||||||||
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Writer’s block can occur for the strangest of reasons. We all seem to have our routines which if disrupted, cause us to come to a complete halt. So I’m currently stuck. But what might I have written? Well there was a piece covering alternative Universes based on “what if scenarios”. For example would Stephen Foster hold a commanding position with musicologists had he had a better Lyricist, supposing he had teamed up with Tennyson and put new Lyrics to the “Camptown Races tune.?” “On either side the river lie do da do da, long fields of barley and of rye do da do da dey that clothes the wold and meets the sky, and through the fields the road runs by to many towered Camelot do da do da dey. What if he had had collaborated with WS Gilbert? A wandering minstrel I, A thing of rags and patches, Of ballad songs and snatches. Going, Polly Wolly doodle all de day Or suppose William McGonagall had joined him, and re-written “Swanee River”? “Way down upon the bridged Tay River, Far, far away, There’s a bridge that’s like a si’ver sliver It’s still there today.” What if Spencer had put his foot down and said to Marx. my name is going first? Would their S+M sessions have given Anne Summers a run for their money? What if Karl Marx had joined his brothers on the stage? They would then have been Harpo, Groucho, Beppo, Boppo, Leppo and Lefty! Would he have abandoned his revolutionary pal, the communist Manny Festo? Imagine the quips, Lefty “Dialectic Materialism” Groucho, “Sure, but what colour?” Imagine if Neo-Marxists such as Pol Pot had been known for a song, a dance and a quip rather than mass exterminations? Finally, imagine a Labour Party that had Labourers as MPs rather than its now mandatory “de-classe” bourgeois professional parasite! What if I had teamed up with Chuck Berry and had written “Roll over Keir Hardie” It could have replaced the Red Flag. No, my muse has fled and I am lost.
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