READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 1445 guests online and 10 members online
Poetry
LOCUS
By wiredwriter
18 April 2005

When in fact you are lost.
When in fact the telephone doesn't work.
When in fact the facts are wrong.


I walk the edge
of a river,
outskirts of a new town.
I am a stranger here,
moved in last week.
The neighbors ignore me.
Sometimes I want to
rattle pots and pans on
the back deck of the house,
s
ee if anyone notices. Probably wouldn't.
They would all just turn
their heads and look at each other as if the calamity
were no calamity at all, only a brief
interlude of minimal cacophony.

But yet things are beginning
to make sense. The river
provides solace where before none
could be found. I remove my shoes,
place my feet in the frigid water, again
understanding one meaning of cold.


 


Copyright © 2005
Jeffrey S. Callico

Reviews

Written by spiderbaby49 (137 comments posted) 24th April 2005
I'm impressed. This reads aloud very well. 
 
I like the juxtaposition of minimal and cacophony. 
 
spare use of words to provide a strong image. 
 
Good poem. 
 
spidey
Good use of language
Written by tamper (18 comments posted) 24th April 2005
I like the spare use of words too, particularly to build a sense of stark isolation. The sentences seem to become more rounded at the end, again in keeping with the theme of a growing comfort. 
 
Very nice.

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item