Jeff never could quite get the smell of monkey off of his hands. No matter how hard he scrubbed, it seemed to cling to the bottom of his nails and soak in to the pores of his skin. Most of the time it was a bearable nuisance, part of the job he loved and just another excuse for the missus to push his hands away at night. But at a quarter to one every lunchtime it became the proverbial thorn in his side, or nose as the case may be. Every pie, cake or sandwich he lifted to his mouth was accompanied by the reek of caged primate.
It had gotten so bad that he found himself staring into the fridge every morning, trying to figure out what would go well with bread and Gibbon. He knew that there was the perfect flavour out there; the one that would complement the sweaty butt and ammonia flavour of simian, all he had to do was find it. Despite what his mother might tell you, Jeff had always been an adventurer at heart. The tuna and marmalade failure from last month was testament to that. The other keepers, however, didn’t share his enthusiasm for culinary experimentation. So it was with very few regrets that Jeff began to spend his lunch hour with an entirely more pleasurable sort of company.
As he swung miserably back and forth on the hanging tyre, staring out through the wire mesh in-front of him, Jeff pondered the likelihood of ever finding the perfect “with gorilla” food when he noticed Bobo swaggering over, his arms stretching up to the sky and waving through the air. Jeff raised his arms, palms upward waiting for the obligatory “gimmie ten” greeting that he and the monkey often shared. The monkey stopped in-front of him and blew a raspberry through his teeth before depositing a mashed, sweaty looking banana in to Jeff’s outstretched hand, and patting him on the head affectionately. Jeff sat and stared at the fruit, the monkey at Jeff. A lifetime passed before Jeff’s hand, apparently of it’s own free will began moving haltingly up to his face.
Bobo held the humans gaze and nodded his monkey head intently as the man stuffed the gooey, pre-chewed treat into his mouth. There was a pause. A silence. Bobo watched as beads of sweat formed across the small mans brow. Then he began to chew, then swallow. The man looked over and used the thumbs up gesture Bobo had taught him not so long ago, a wide toothy grin on his little human face. Bobo chewed on his fingers thoughtfully, maybe there was some hope for this mankind yet. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3298 comments posted) 18th May 2006 | Now,that's the great thing about this site,you get to read some really unusual stuff and this certainly falls into that category. I was hooked with the first line and was so bemused by the subject matter that I kept reading
It was a well paced and nicely judged piece and took me to funny ending with an interesting re-frame. If I have a criticism it is the word "gotten" it's spoken slang and jars here. but,hey that's easily fixed. I will keep a look out for any more of your stuff to see what else you're up to
cheers and welcome to the site
BBS | Excellent.
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 18th May 2006 | BBS has said it all however let language be your servant not your master so if you want to use slang, use it.
Or to keep BBS quiet, put it in quotes, she never moaned about "“gimmie ten” "
I love anything that goes down new paths and you've a good eye for detail, "Bobo chewed on his fingers thoughtfully".
Thanks for an engaging read,
Brian | Thank you
Written by Star-Munky (33 comments posted) 18th May 2006 | Thank you both for taking the time to review the piece. I'm glowing inside now, I may even be nice to people at work today.
I didn't realise gotten wasn't "proppa English" ... but now I do. Thanks for the welcome, hopefully I'll find a nice little home here and make a nest for a while. Speak to you soon Brian and BBS.
| Good Monkey Business1
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 19th May 2006 | Hello Munky,
I just wanted to second, or more properly third, what Brian and BBS have said above. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this and thought it beautifully crafted for maximum short effect. I particularly liked the juxtaposition of an erstwhile rancid, mangy subject encapsulated in lovley economical prose.
Well done!
Slainte! | Indeed
Written by Star-Munky (33 comments posted) 19th May 2006 | | I couldn't have put it better myself. In-fact I'm pretty certain that, if I understood what you just said, I'd be very flattered indeed. Thanks again. | Coffee story
Written by alastair79 (47 comments posted) 19th May 2006 | This was the perfect accompaniment to the coffee I was enjoying. A great piece of writing and I’m looking forward to more.
Regards.
Alastair.
| Top banana
Written by Leo (573 comments posted) 23rd May 2006 | You had me hooked from the first line.
Thanks! | Love the first line...
Written by Leigh (226 comments posted) 24th May 2006 | I can't say as I've ever read an intro quite on a par with "Jeff never could quite get the smell of monkey off of his hands"! You definitely had me gripped from the outset. I obviously wanted to read on and discover why this chap reeks of caged primate on a daily basis. Love the image of him looking in his fridge to find something that goes with bread and gibbon.
Overall, this is a lovely, quirky piece about the rapport between man and beast. I do like monkeys myself (spent many a happy childhood day pulling faces at the chimps at Dudley Zoo). | Have I seen this somewhere before...?
Written by Clifftown (619 comments posted) 20th June 2006 | Really excellent work, very funny and original.
Keep the writing going! |
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