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Poetry
Stonetown, Zanzibar.
By Flippy_D
18 April 2005
My feet are shuffling over dusky beaches,
Somewhere between the brick and shore,
Shale is dashed gently on the yielding sand,
That form dry haloes where I tread.

I've left a trail of them.

Stabbing the sand as I've gone, heel-first,
Gouging deep and down.
And I'm looking through the lens of the clouds on the horizon and I see you.

I'm treading on the slimed floor of the fish market,
I think this used to be a chapel.
The roof is high, with crossbeams
Where pigeons shed guano as the sunset blasts shadows against the wall.
The heads of cod roll madly,
And cleavers flash.

The smell of the market is one of rot and brine,
And hope. And money.
Fragments of cork scatter the black stone -
Did you know this city was built from sea-stone?

Stonetown, touching on grace and stroking the sea,
Connected to the world with a causeway of dreams,
And cheap postcards from stalls.

Reviews
smoooth
Written by ailbhe (6 comments posted) 27th April 2005
This is very evocative. The dry "halos" of bare feet on wet beach are a great image, and I love the contrast with walking on "the slimed floor of the fish market." As for "The heads of cod roll madly"...pure brilliant! 
 
I'm not sure I like the uncertainty created by those full stops in the first two lines of the fifth stanza - it makes the reader feel you're making things up as you go along, whereas I think this poem should have more of a certainty and a smoothness - like a sea-stone!  
 
The poem redeems itself with the last smooth stanza though. I really like it.
Ta
Written by Flippy_D (14 comments posted) 27th April 2005
Thanks muchly :) 
 
The full stops are to create a kind of 'thinking' - something you picked up on. I did that to add a slight cynicism, also evident in the final line. It's not all rosey :3  
 
But hey, you correctly identified what it was about, so I have no problem if you like it or not, as long as you understand :)  
 
Thanks for the comment, positive and critical :3
actually ...
Written by alandavidpritchard (59 comments posted) 30th June 2005
i actually dont have a problem with the full stops ...if you read the poem aloud, and use the pause they provide, it enforces the reflective quality of the poem - and link with both the commercial and the emotional elements of the scene

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