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Poetry
Slave
By Tenchi
23 May 2006
Hmmm wrote whilst listening to Nine Inch Nails a lot. I can't say it's that different from anything out there but I rather like it :)

I kiss your lips…
I am someone else
becoming all
Everything they will ever be.

I am becoming now
I ever crave
your immortal touch
Me.

I taste your skin
Flesh and sweat
All at once
I will forget
What I once was
I’ll never be

My vision spent
you make me see
Your heart
makes mine beat
once a part
Complete.

I give my all
Take it please
I cannot fall
Whilst on my knees

I am the slave
I follow on
All I crave
gone.

Reviews
Q2
Written by zee666 (10 comments posted) 31st August 2008
I have to say, it was pretty cool, but would have benefited from each line having more than two words. Im pretty sure it was intentional, it just took away from the interesting nature of the poem. The last stanza was okay in the given layout, but the rest could have done with some creative shaping.

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