I went through a phase of playing with rhyming scheme in the is case ABCABC.
Ruth, an archaic word meaning compassion. We still use it's opposite ruthless.
My accent gives the piece 10 beats a bar.
Cynic:a romantic with broken heart.
Pragmatistm, their smokescreen; hides this truth.
Belief that things could and should be sublime
Places their dismissive comments apart;
From those that accept the lack of all ruth;
For whom life is but vicious pantomime.
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Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3590 comments posted) 25th May 2006 |
I haven't come across that rhyming structure before.(that's probably because I don't read much poetry I suppose) It's quiet clever because it sneaks up on you as you read it .
And I really liked that first line,if it's one of yours, well done
BBS |
Yes it is.
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 25th May 2006 |
"I haven't come across that rhyming structure before"-I certainly haven't.
This is one of three poems written about the same time the first was "Humour" , that had an ABAB pattern but was an exercise in using the minimum numer of words.
This was an attempt to try an unusual rhyme pattern. It was to be part of a series covering emotions, attitudes etc, but then I got side tracked by attempting to capture the feel of Eric Satie's Music.
To do this I tried an ABCCBA pattern.
The latter has an unusual History it was posted by a person claiming to be a member of a Writers' group I belonged to. But it was in fact posted by my wife! She'd joined the Web Site to irritate me!
Once again BBS thanks for your time and comments.
Brian.
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The Cynic
Written by Josie (2849 comments posted) 25th May 2006 |
| Brian, call me stupid if you like, but I haven't understood the message in your poem. You say that you call someone with a broken heart a cynic. Many people have broken hearts because people they love have rejected them or hurt them, but this doesn't make them a cynic. Then you say "their smokescreen" when you have been talking about one person. Then pragmatism (a way of approaching or assessing situations) their smokescreen. This is what I don't understand. Can you explain it in simple English for one poor stupid person please. I would have to say that if you don't understand something that someone has written, then it isn't good English - but put me right if I am wrong. |
Well
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 25th May 2006 |
This and Humour are I suppose the nearest I get to being "metaphysical"
There are three types of people, Romantics, Realists and Cynics.
The Romantic believes the world to be wonderful.
The Realist knows it isn't and couldn't give a damn.
The Cynic knows it isn't but feels that it could and should be: that it's shortfalls are worthy of comment and criticism.
"I would have to say that if you don't understand something that someone has written, then it isn't good English "
Two people have commented you and BBS and your reactions are Poles apart. I didn't get your riddle but Baggie did, so it might have something to do with one's "mind-set".
"You say that you call someone with a broken heart a cynic."
No, I said a Cynic is a broken hearted Romantic.In this context Romance covers a dewy eyed attitude to all aspects of life, friendship, honesty, endeavour, what ever, not just sexual love.
Ultimately the Cynic hides the fact that they unlike the realist "care.". A pragmatic approach is re-active it reveals little of what the Pragmatist holds dear.
This Poem has always had a Bi-Polar response, those who can empathise with it and those who it leaves cold or confused.
Thanks for your time and comments,
Brian
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Josie
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 25th May 2006 |
"Many people have broken hearts because people they love have rejected them or hurt them,"
Hearts can be broken through many causes, for example the loss through death of a loved one.
It can also be broken, when you find that what you once thought to be sublime, is venal, base and worthless. Yet you know that it need not be any of those things.
Brian. |
Is it me?
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3590 comments posted) 26th May 2006 |
"I would have to say that if you don't understand something that someone has written, then it isn't good English "
I have struggled to understand Flann O Brien, Salman Rushdie and some Shakespeare now I know it's because their English isnt' good, that's a relief for a moment I thought it was me!
I never thought I'd read something like that on a writers board.
BBS |
Thanks BBS.
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 26th May 2006 |
For your time and reasuring comment.
Brian. |
You're playing with fire BRN...
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 26th May 2006 |
See. I told you not to go round messing about with the poets. Look what you've started now. You won't be told, will you!
Anyhow it's all Greek to me too. Mind you I thought that what was poetry was all about. The more abstruse and unfathomable the piece the greater it's coinage;which should put you in line for the Nobel Prize. I mean look at that Jimmy Joyce, Poems Pennyeach. I could't even get my head round the introduction, let alone the boggin' text. It took them thirty years to figure out all he wanted was directions to the Johns.
Slan!
PS Don't forget to commit suicide after the last line like a real poet. Punchline? That's what I call style. Remember Houseman: 'Woe is me I'm thirty five
Full of beans and still alive! ' |
Well done GC
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 26th May 2006 |
As ever, you're "a still,small ovice of calm."
I shall stop playing with the poets and go back to playing with myself.
(Patience style card games I hasten to add.)
Brian. |
Reprise.
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 26th May 2006 |
Nice one, Brian. Dirty Bastard!
Actually, attempting seriousness for once, like the cat squandering one of it's precious lives, I re- read the lines and found they had a curiously compelling logic; right or wrong. Bit frightening really.
Well done. |
Thanks GC
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 26th May 2006 |
"found they had a curiously compelling logic", Praise indeed.
Mind it's a tricky Johny this seriousness.
Thanks for your time and comments,
Brian. |
MONTAIGNE IS MY MAN
Written by Josie (2849 comments posted) 29th May 2006 |
| I like reading: The Consolations of Philosophy" by Alain de Botton - and have discovered that Montaigne and I share similar thoughts on some things. Thinking that if something is too deep that you don't understand it, and following up this by saying that "therefore it is not good English if you don't understand it" is Montaigne's theory on Consolations of Intellectuality. (Blame Montaigne and read his other theories - they are hilarious! |
Tricky Johny this seriousness
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 29th May 2006 |
Let's not make a "Montaigne" out of this, cos "Nothing is unless drinking makes it so!" (Phil O'Sophistry in his treatise - "In search of the perfect stout".))
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Beautiful
Written by ellipinnock (1795 comments posted) 19th September 2006 |
I just stumbled across this whilst looking for the other parts of Venus flytrap and I love it. The cynic as a broken-hearted romantic is such an engaging although heart-breakingly sad concept.
Such controversy over something so wonderful!
Elli |
Hi EP
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 19th September 2006 |
I saw a notification on my work E-Mail, and expected it to be BubBleS, so I was astonished to find it was you and this poem.
I'm delighted that you have an empathy with the poem.
It, Humour, Twin Tower Two and Requiem, represent me at my epigramatic best, though that may not be saying very much,
Thanks for your time and comments,
Brian. |
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