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Written by woody44 (766 comments posted) 25th May 2006 |
A powerful theme Brook, and beautifully put across. Amazing how much can be said in so few words with this medium.
happy writing... |
I echo the sentiment
Written by Leo (573 comments posted) 25th May 2006 |
less is definitely more
superb |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3174 comments posted) 25th May 2006 |
For someone who can't speak you are remarkably articulate. You have put teh case of women very well it is not that we can't speak but are so used to being ignored or misunderstood we feel our words are undervalued.
Perhaps it's a good sign that the two guys liked it as well
A very concise and cogent piece
BBS |
Dumbstruck
Written by Josie (2539 comments posted) 25th May 2006 |
| I'm sorry that you feel dumbstruck, but considering you have put these words onto paper you are not too dumbstruck. I would say myself that men are more dumbstruck than women. They bottle things up rather than speaking about them. Women usually gather together to get things off their chests - or I would say that they are much more supportive than men. As for being crushed, humiliated and battered - well I am reading a book about another part of the world where women are definitely like that - and I say "thank God it is not like that here." You are wrong in my opinion. |
Thank you for taking the time to comment
Written by brook_rivers (484 comments posted) 25th May 2006 |
Thanks for your opinions. Yes Mrs B I was delighted that the first two reviews were from a male perspective!
I think I may rearrange the ending and put it into a better structure & perhaps take out the rhetorical questions, it was written down with no alteration from thoughts so think a bit of fine tuning is needed! but thanks for the encouragement.
To Josie I wasn't quite sure where the last line of your review came from? To say someones individual opinion is wrong is quite a strong thing to say & I didn't feel that it followed what the rest of your points were saying?
This poem was inspired after reading Helene Cixous 'Women must write herself' (hence the irony of 'I can't speak' and yet it is expressed in words!). Acknowledging that women have been repressed throughout history, but still continue to be in all parts of the world including europe. |
a valid opinion.
Written by woody44 (766 comments posted) 26th May 2006 |
I can understand where you are coming from with Josie`s comments Brook. There is ALWAYS more than one opinion about any given subject, and to say you are wrong in yours...is entirely wrong! Josie said much the same about my humble offering. It would be a dull existance is there was just one stereotypical view of the world, but thankfully that isn`t the case.
happy writing.... |
Written by oxy (28 comments posted) 29th May 2006 |
"Feeble, unintelligible, uncertain" these strong words say so much about how women are still treated by some men. You can not speak but your silence screams out "WE ARE EQUAL"
Well done! |
Written by brook_rivers (484 comments posted) 1st June 2006 |
thanks again for all your comments
glad to have provoked some thought on this subject!
best wishes
brook |
Succinct but powerful
Written by mishmish (389 comments posted) 1st June 2006 |
I've read this a number of times today (in between working!) and each time I keep getting something more from it. It's really beautifully written and powerful in its short prose.
I liked the rhetorical questions, they made the piece more personal and human, rather than abstract. Keep them in.
Great writing! |
Written by brook_rivers (484 comments posted) 1st June 2006 |
Thank you for your comments mishmash they are greatly appreciated. I think the reason why i enjoy poetry so much is because, as you said, everytime you read you can find a different meaning - so I am glad my poem provides this!
Brook
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