Of course, few know just how big the ball of twine actually is. Originally no one knew except for Frank Stoeber, its creator. In 1952, Frank returned home to Cawker City, Kansas from a visit to the Bahamas. It's unknown what happened to him while he was there. The most common theory is that he received a divine revelation. More specifically, a divine revelation that The Almighty has chilly feet. For the day he returned, he set to work on his mission to knit a pair of socks of utter perfection, worthy of God himself.

The first steps of his grandiose plan of divine tailoring required that he create a suitable portal into which he could enter, sheilding himself for all time from the ravages of age and distraction, and the risk of running out of material. To accomplish this he rolled his ball of twine, meticulously laying each string just perfectly so that if you were to view the inside and outside of the ball simultaneously from every conceivable angle, you would have a reliable, 12-dimensional model of time and the universe. This job took him many years, finally finishing in 1961. At this point he wrapped the ball in a layer of rubber and several other layers of twine to protect it and his secret. As a final security measure, he handed it off to the people of Cawker City, relying on their small-town pride to prevent it from being gobbled up by anyone who could bring it to harm.

He then spent the next 13 years preparing his body, his tools, and the universe itself for the next stages of his plan, before finally blinking out of our 3-dimensional existence and into the 12-dimensional spacetime in the center of the ball at the beginning of time.

For billions of years on his own time-line now, Frank has knitted diligently, in a ball so pan-dimensionally gigantic that it takes up nearly the entirety of 7 dimensions of space, causing them to seem tiny and curled up to 3-dimensional observes. The ball has many pores, through which matter from all around the universe is passed through and converted into knitting materials as Frank knits and re-knits, coming closer and closer each time to an infinitely perfect pair of socks.

Eventually, at the very end of time, Frank shall finally acheive his goal, by this time having gone through all of the matter in the Universe and creating an infinite number of nearly-perfect 12-dimensional socks. This shall happen at the moment right before the big crunch. Further, as Frank's knitting skills improve the needles bang against each-other faster and harder, until- right after he makes the last stitch and right as the Universe collapses upon itself- he lets out a sound of infinite frequency and power, causing the Universe to explode outward again and providing the sound effects for the next "Big Bang."

Of course, none of this could possibly be true. Twine, Deities, and crazed Kansans aren't responsible for the creation and observable shape of the Universe. These things just don't add up to how the world is supposed to work.

Right?