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Shorts
Innocence of Edan
By Tigermoons
26 May 2006
It's symbolic and has a few meanings...Just something that's been on my mind and decided to write down. Enjoy.

The shore was lined with rocks. Big, sharp rocks. Edan skipped from one to another, the soles of her feet not bruising or being cut. The sky was dim with a crescent moon. Edan had never seen the full moon. She's never looked upon the complete beauty of the night. But it didn't bother her, she knew what came when you saw everything, and that was pain. Her people rejoiced in seeing the sky full with clouds. They hide the stars, they hide the light.


She sat on a dock that was half rotten. Her feet dangled above the inky water. Dangers were in there. Things with rows and rows of teeth. Things that could use electricity. She's never felt the cool salt water on her skin, but she wanted to feel it tonight. The air was humid and hot, sweat rolled down her brow and dripped from the tip of her nose. Slowly, she lowered her feet into the water. The sensation that it sent through her body was invigorating. It was the best feeling she had ever felt in her whole sheltered life.


A man stumbled from rock to rock, coming her way. He was shouting to her, yelling in a frenzy. "What are you doing?" He called to her. Quickly she pulled her legs to her body and gripped them tight to her chest,. "I was just…" But she stopped. She looked to the water and saw two red eyes starring at her. Two evil looking eyes. They were lust-filled, they were hungry. She screamed out and it carried through the night.


"Come Edan! Get away!" Yelled the man. But she couldn't move, her body was paralyzed. Then the creature with the red eyes puffed out it's spiny gills and gleamed its long, sharp teeth. It saw that she was helpless, saw that she was innocent of all things like itself. It leapt out of the water with a great splash and broke the dock that sat beneath Edan. She fell into the water with a yelp, sinking and sinking.


She thrashed, but didn't know how to swim. Her long golden hair fanned out around her underneath the water and her eyes closed with the realization of death coming upon her. The creature with the red eyes circled and circled, grinning wickedly. It dove in and gobbled her up. Gobbled her as she felt the cooling, beautiful sea.


The man on the rocks stood still, a tear escaping the corner of his eye. "If only she listened…" He whispered in the hot night. No. If only they had taught her to swim.

Reviews
poetic.
Written by alastair79 (47 comments posted) 26th May 2006
I have enjoyed both the works you have added today, very different to most things we see on here. Can’t really offer criticisms as I think all your work to have a very personal meaning and I would feel it inappropriate to do so. I would say that all of your work is poetic, to the point I think it could easily be a poem rather then short story. 
 
Look forward to reading more. 
 
Regards. 
Alastair.
so then sheltered innocence
Written by johniebg (553 comments posted) 26th May 2006
if you shelter those you love from the evils of the world you will harm them more? brilliantly done
loved it
Written by Leo (573 comments posted) 26th May 2006
liked this even more than the last!

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