(FADE UP TO SOUND OF CROCKERY BEING CLEANED IN KITCHEN SINK. GERALD, THE HUSBAND TURNS TO HIS WIFE WHO IS SITTING AT THE KITCHEN TABLE WRITING OUT HER SHOPPING LIST)


GERALD:    I still reckon we should say something. Every time we`ve been out in the garden together this week he`s been there ogling you from his bedroom window, and I`m sure he`s got a pair of flippin` binoculars.
 
DEBBIE:   Oh come on love, you should be flattered. And anyway I`m sure he`s quite harmless really. Probably just a bit lonely - living on his own in a new place and everything.


GERALD:  (RATHER FORCEFULLY)  That`s your trouble Debs, you always think the best of people. I mean, where`s he come from? One minute the house is empty next thing he`s living there. For all we know he could be a rapist or one of those blinkin` paedophiles.


DEBBIE:  (CROSSLY)  Oh don`t be so silly Gerald! I wasn`t going to tell you this cos I knew you`d get angry, but I had a quick word with him yesterday whilst I was putting the washing out - asked him if he`d settled in okay. I must say he seemed pleasant enough.


GERALD:  Ah but they alway do don`t they - seem pleasant I mean. Hides their true character you see, lulls their intended victim into a sense of false security before-


DEBBIE: (INTERRUPTING) Will you stop it Gerald! You`ll have me as paranoid as you about the poor man. And why is it I`ve never seen him when I`ve been out in the garden on my own. Could be he fancies you sweetie!
 

GERALD: It`s alright you joking about it Debs but I reckon there`s something dodgy about him,you mark my words.
 

DEBBIE:  Well I think you`re making a mountain out of a very tiny molehill love. And now, unless you think I`m in mortal danger from a serial shelf-stacker, I`m off to the supermarket.

GERALD: Well I still think he`s weird.

DEBBIE: (MIMICKING VOICE) See you later Holmes.

  (SOUND OF KITCHEN DOOR CLOSING - FADE OUT)

  (FADE UP TO SOUND OF BIRDSONG AND GENTLE SNORING -GERALD IS ASLEEP IN DECKCHAIR ON PATIO - SUDDEN LOUD VOICE FROM OVER THE FENCE)


 NEIGHBOUR:   Excuse me!

GERALD: (WAKING WITH  START) Pardon..did you call?

NEIGHBOUR:   Sorry did I wake you?


GERALD:  Er..no..no that`s alright. I was just having five minutes with the paper. Something you want?


NEIGHBOUR:  (HESITANTLY) Well yes..actually I`d like to apologise. I meant to say something to your good lady yesterday but she seemed rather busy with the washing so i thought I`d better-

GERALD: (INTERRUPTING BRUSQUELY) Yes well we`ve..that is I`ve, been meaning to have a word with you as well. It`s about when me and debs have been out in-

NEIGHBOUR:  It`s the birds you see.

GERALD:   (SHARPLY) I`m sorry?

NEIGHBOUR:  The birds, in your garden. I was watching them when you saw me the other evening and it suddenly occurred to me that...well that you1d probably think I was spying on you both, which I wasn`t of course, good lord no, but I thought I`d better just explain, clear up any little misunderstanding.


GERALD:   Yes well we did think..that is Deddie wondered..what with the binoculars and everything.

NEIGHBOUR: It`s the thrushes you see. Don`t see many of them nowadays, so when I saw you had a pair nesting in that old wheelbarrow down by your garden shed, wwell I just had to keep an eye on them.


GERALD: (NOW RATHER FLUSTERED) Yes well I did tell debs she was being a bit silly - but you know what women are like, vivid imaginations and all that.

NEIGHBOUR:   Well I`m sorry if I caused the pair of you to fall out. My wife always said my little hobby would get me into trouble one day.

GERALD:  Your wife?; is she?..only we don`t seem to have seen-

NEIGHBOUR:  Oh no sorry, should have explained. My dear wife died six months ago. Car accident on the bypass. That`s why I moved really. Too many memories in the old house. I saw this place in the local paper and I fell in love with it straight away.
 

GERALD: (RISING FROM DECKCHAIR)  I`m very sorry about your wife...Look I`ve got a couple of cans of beer in the fridge - fancy helping me to polish them off?

NEIGHBOUR:  That`s very nice, thank you. (HOLDS OUT HAND) Name`s Alfred by the way, only most of my friends down at the bird-watchers` club call me Alf.

GERALD:  Nice to meet you Alf. I`m Gerald. Welcome to Cherry Tree Avenue.

(JUST THEN GERALD`S DOOR BELL RINGS)

GERALD:  Back in a minute Alf. Probably Debs, forgotten her key again.

(SOUNDS OF GERALD WHISTLING AS HE GOES TO OPEN FRONT DOOR TO BE CONFRONTED BY A YOUNG POLICEMAN)

GERALD:  Good afternoon constable..can I help you?

CONSTABLE:  Are you Mr Fairbrother sir?...Mr Gerald Fairbrother?

GERALD:   Yes that`s right..is there something wrong?

CONSTABLE:  I`m sorry sir, but there`s been an incident..involving your wife.

GERALD:  Incident? What sort of incident?  Is Debs alright?


CONSTABLE:  I`m very sorry sir but there was nothing anyone could do. It all happened so quickly I`m afraid. Seems this bloke...shelf-stacker up at the supermarket apparently..just went berserk with a carving knife...