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Comedy


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Adult Education (Revised.)

By cynicsid

29 May 2006

I've tidied this up a bit. It's a script, so WD should be happy.

Excuse me.

EXCUSE ME!!!

I want to ask you a question, but if I just come out and ask it. You'll shout at me.

I'll have to explain.I'm doing Adult education, I am.

I'm doing a life skills course cos I've not got any-I've not, not one.

I am doing an NVQ in Womanising. I'm not very good with women.

It's a fantastic course. The prof give us all this required reading matter. It was much better than the stuff I get down Sami and Salim's Corner Shop.

At the end of the first evening I ran all the way home. Then I ran all the way back cos I'd gone by car.

When I finally got home I went into the living room and threw my handouts onto the lounge table. Unfortunately they knocked mothers cocoa off onto the cat, scalding it. The cat then jumped up the curtains which pulled the pelmet down onto Grandma.

Granny was philosophic about it; she said that she didn't hold with all this education nonsense, it put silly ideas in their head.

When we'd sorted the room out, calmed the cat down and bandaged Grandmas head, I showed the 2 women my course work.

See mother all these years you said that I was a pathetic little pervert in a dirty raincoat. When unbeknown to us both, I had in fact been an academic!

I've been on the course now for 8 weeks but I am having trouble with the orals.

See I can't get anybody to practice with.

Another thing that bothers me is that the prof said the course would at times be extra-Muriel.

I've not even met Muriel so how can I get any extras?

Still I'm not bothered I reckon its one of them inflatable devices and I've three of them at home.One black one, one white one and one with a pair of fishnet tights on and when I've bought a puncture repair kit, I'll bring them back into use.

See my mother inflated them; then covered them in catnip and locked the cat in my bedroom.

Oh in addition to this extra-Muriel bit some of the sessions are held outside of the college.

So, my question is, "Are you the Bondage Group?"

Reviews

Laughing again
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3590 comments posted) 29th May 2006

What a relief I was beginning to think it was me. The recent humour posts have left me struggling a bit,recently, a bemused smile rather than laughing.But this made me laugh out loud and I just kept laughing, just too many funny bits to mention. When monologues work they work brilliantly, teh trick is to keep upping the comic ante and you did just that .I do have one serious criticism though it was far too short.
I may be out of touch with humour but I know what I like
cheers
BBS

Ta BBS
Written by cynicsid (177 comments posted) 29th May 2006

Leave 'em wanting more. Glad you like it, I'll whisper this it got a POTW on another Web-Site. But when posted here the first time it lead ballooned.

There is a sequel, so you've been warned.

Thanks for your time and comments.

Silly Sid.

An education
Written by Leo (573 comments posted) 29th May 2006

I enjoyed this piece a lot, and more importantly learnt a lot about structuring, pace and pay off.

Thankyou o wise one.

p.s. i've had so many lead ballons that my kids have bought crash helmets....

Ta Leo
Written by cynicsid (177 comments posted) 29th May 2006

When I went to lots of writers' groups (5 in total) I got the chance to read work to, an albeit small 5-12, audience. I learnt from their response.

So I got to break pieces up, either to allow me to take breath or/and the audience to have a laugh. This like the other pieces has been polished and altered.

GC makes a good point, read your work out aloud, even if there is no audience, because for some unknownn reason, what the eye fails to see the ear catches.

Thanks for your time and comments.

Siddie

extra-carricature...
Written by woody44 (777 comments posted) 29th May 2006

Very humorous `sidney` Nicely paced and some lovely little throw-away lines. Nice one

happy writing...

Thank you Woodney
Written by cynicsid (177 comments posted) 29th May 2006

Glad you liked it. The web-site has changed a lot since I first joined and on Comedy it is far stronger than Writer's Dock. There's at least 10 regular writers, who post and review and that is the key to its strength.

Siddie.

Written by sasquatch (125 comments posted) 31st May 2006

Nice one sidney.

Some good gags in there.

Sasquatch

Thanks SQ
Written by cynicsid (177 comments posted) 31st May 2006

It's very difficult to get a stand up routine to make it as a written piece.

Thanks for your time and comments. Glad you liked it,

Satisifed Sidney.

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