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By B.D.
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31 May 2006 |
This is just about wanting someone to see what you don't want to have to scream for someone to notice. I don't want to show you
but I want you to know.
I don't want to speak to you
but I want you to hear.
I don't want to cry
but I want you to see my tears.
I don't want to tell you
but I need you to ease my fears.
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Written by Psimple (30 comments posted) 30th May 2006 | just a thought...finish it! Again, a good start, but I finished reading it was asking the subject..."why?"
Why is it important to be heard and seen? Why does the author need to be noticed? I think by adding a strong motive, a sense of importance, a drive...this piece will read with more of the power you're obviously feeeling.
Keep working at it.
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Written by B.D. (82 comments posted) 31st May 2006 | | OK I see what you mean. I kinda thought that this was all that needed to be said but I see that this is more like a part one of a longer poem/thought/feeling...Thanks!! |
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