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| The Nuclear Debate | |
| By Leo | ||||||||||||||||||
| 02 June 2006 | ||||||||||||||||||
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Just another sheet of cyber toilet paper.... Fission: the splitting apart of a nucleus, resulting in an enormous release of energy Fusion: the (speculative) production of energy created when two nuclei are compressed to the point that they become one. So it was that Geoffrey Pennington-Lewis found his testicles at the point of fusion. They were being squeezed very, very hard. The menacing creature that had them in its iron grip stared deeply into his eyes. It was the most sinister, cunning and ferocious of all creatures; the ‘party whip’. Pressed hard against the flock wallpaper in the House of Commons toilet, he dared not breath. Sweat broke out on his top lip. As little as another micro-gram of pressure could easily trigger a sub-trousal nuclear event. It could get extremely painful. Not to mention, messy. The whip cleared his throat. The almost imperceptible vibration of his larynx grew into a seismic shock wave by the time it had passed through the core of Geoffrey’s groin. He winced, as waves of nausea swept through his lower stomach, beating against his abdominal wall. A solitary tear ran down his cheek. He blinked, but dared not swallow. “Just to clarify my understanding…” began the brute in an oily, measured way, “We can rely on your vote regarding the nuclear issue this afternoon.” Geoffrey just nodded very slowly and let out an almost inaudible whimper. He felt extremely sick. “I knew I could rely on you Geoffrey…” He released his vice like grip, In a slow and methodical manner he then wiped his hand on an expensive silk handkerchief, before running his fingers through his expensively coiffured hair. Geoffrey breathed again. He could feel a ball of white heat expanding within his jockeys. He slid down the wall and landed in a dishevelled heap on the floor. There would be a need for lots of ice to cool the thermal reaction. And legroom to accommodate the atomic expansion. And brandy to kill the pain. The nameless wretch made his way out of the toilets, sneering to himself. “Democracy… it’s what makes this country great,,,,”
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