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Comedy
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| Stort Radio's Arts Night | |
| By BrianRobertNeal | ||||||||||||||||||||
| 04 June 2006 | ||||||||||||||||||||
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Nearly Past It's piece reminded me of my attempt to capture Local Radio's ambience. As it said before Local Radio Stations are tricky Johnnies. Go With the flow, Go with the flow Go with Stort Radio. Well ladies and gentlemen welcome to "Art about Art". I'm Art "Lover" and tonight you're going out on the tiles in that crucible of culture: Bishops Stortford. First we're off to a premiere at the local theatre. An interesting piece entitled "The Moderato". Then we're at a thrilling darts final at the Pig and Oxymoron. And finally for you night owls; we're female nude mud wrestling at the YMCA. To discuss the Opera I have with me, the arts critic of the East Stort Examiner. So let's give a big welcome to Nigel Naice. "Hi Nige" NN-"Hi Art." Advert-Are piles probleming you. Try Daisy Buts, one a day and they'll go away. AL-"Now Nige, as you know we went to last night's premiere and videoed the show. So we can add comments to help the listener. What did you make of it?" NN- I think that the female chorus make it all worth while particularly the four Muse Moderatos. I could giver them one! AL-"Steady on Nigel, this is a family show!" NN "Calm down Art I meant an Oscar. The plot is fascinating a group of mutants want to take over the Universe. So starting on Earth they set up a supposed Website for writers. There is a council of Moderatos who have control over space and time. However one of their "forums" is causing problems and could undermine the plan. So the Evil SciFi King aims to wipe out this subversive Forum. But I'll go no further cos I would give the shock ending away! I ought to point out the Opera uses melodies written by Sir Arthur Sullivan and a Libretto apparently written by the spirit pen of W.S.Gilbert as taken down by local boy Brian Neal." Advert- If plumbing is a problem don't let it get you down, just phone for local boy, Augustus Brown and Sons Plumbing Ltd. NN "Can't you shut those bloody things off" AL-"Sh! you're on air, right Nige tell us about scene 1. NN-Scene 1 is set in a Medieval Japanese Village called Kiwiagreen, it's the local fleshpot! It paints a picture of a society content and well balanced. The set is simple, two huts, one grand and one modest. In the modest hut are the three quippers; Woody , Geecee and Brnie. In the other one, you can see the Moderato sat on a golden throne and at her feet is Beebee-ess, her hand-maiden. All bar the Moderato are paying devotion to their Bamboo, Solar powered Lap Tops. AL-Thanks Nige and now lets let the curtain rise but first. Go with the flow, Go with the flow Go with Stort Radio. AL- "THE MODERATO-Act 1 Scene 1-Morning all: The quippers leave their hut and for no apparent reason start singing" Windows, WIMP WIMP WIMP Windows WIMP WIMP WIMP We a havva We a havva Double giga bite a ram Double giga bite a ram As powerful as can be. It is so compact and it's so neat And at least two weeks from being obsolete. Windows, WIMP WIMP WIMP Windows WIMP WIMP WIMP We a havva We a havva Double giga bite a ram Double giga bite a ram As powerful as can be. NN-"The Moderato startled by the noise leaves her hut. She is followed by BBS. She sings" From every kind of webbing chum Obedience I expect I'm the Moderato of this forum Al -"BBS Sings" And I'm the Moderato Elect She'll give this web (She's only got one) To her Moderato -elect NN-"Then the Moderato." My Webbing skills have been declared Particularly correct Al -"BBS Sings" But they're nothing at all, compared With those of her Moderato elect Bow Bow To the Moderato elect NN -they then all sing. Bow Bow To the Moderato elect AL-"Gaviano, the Emperor's son now enters stage right. He has been sent to find out what is happening in Kiwiagreen. He is disguised as an itinerant Musician and a mop salesman. He looks at the 5 onstage and sings." A wand'ring minstrel I A thing of shreds and patches Of ballad songs and snatches And dreamy lullaby My catalogue is long Through every forum ranging To reviews ever changing I tune my supple song I tune my su-u-u-u-u- pple song AL "Gaviano then looks suspiciously at the quippers who surprisingly burst into song." Three little wits from the Quippery Bright and cheerful as we can be Full of web site glee Three little wits are we Writing is our source of fun-(NN "Woody") Nobody's safe for we care for none (NN Geecee") Life is a joke that's just begun (NN Brnie) Three little wits are we. Three little wits who all unwary Come from a local quipperary Full of genius exemplerary. Three little wits are we Three little wits are we NN (The quippers go back to their hut, the Moderato eyes up Gaviano and BBS behind the Golden Throne.-End of Scene 1 ) Advert-Piles just smile! Daisy Buts, one a day and they'll go away. AL-"Well I found that on the short side and unless I'd read the programme, I would have had no idea what was gong on" NN-"I think it was nice gentle intro and the melodies were sublime. In Scene 2 things hot up. The location has changed to the Hall of the SciFi King. It is very futuristic and resembles an early Doctor Who set. At centre stage back is a gizmo: a device for transporting persons from one time/place to a completely different combination. At the start the stage is empty. However the female chorus breaks the silence and come onstage dancing and singing. AL-"The female chorus is split into two: General moderatos and muse moderatos. The GMs are dressed in the traditional twin set and pearls. The muses are dressed in flimsy see through gowns." NN-I wondered if they were wearing anything else. AL-"Well, all I can say is that it would be worth coming to the Opera; just to see their entrances! GO with the flow go with the flow go with Stort Radio.
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