Yes I know it's an easy target, just a bit of fun,I hope.
I had a spare hour and a pathological revulsion for that fat philandering,duplicitous, hypocritical great s***t. If it offends don't read on
HUMPHRIES :- Right, John Prescott ,your specialist subject is the life and times of…. John Prescott
( Humphries turns to off-screen advisor)
Is that right, can he do that?
PRESCOTT:- Just get on with it you great Jessie. I can do what I like
HUMPHRIES:- Right, What exactly is your present job?
PRESSCOT:- Don’t know, don’t care, sunshine.
HUMPHRIES:- Yes correct on both counts. No-one does. Next one; how do you justify your present huge salary.
PRESCOTT:- I’ll answer you with a smack in the face, cheeky git.
HUMPHRIES:- It’s not quite the answer on the card but as I bruise easily I’ll let you have it.
PRESCOTT:- Just as well you great streak of piss.
HUMPHRIES:- Right Ok. How much do you pay your spin doctors.
PRESCOTT:- Whatever it is, it’s not enough.
HUMPHRIES :- Correct. Why is it that you can get away with doing whatever you like without question?
PRESCOTT :- I Know where all the bodies are buried
HUMPHRIES :- Correct. And Lastly when are you going to resign
PRESCOTT:- Pass.
HUMPHRIES :- Fair enough. You only passed on one and unsurprisingly got the rest right. Thank you John Prescott.
PRESCOTT:- Is that it? Can’t I stay a bit longer, let me have another go. I’ve got lots more specialist subjects….ask me about shagging secretaries. I’m an expert, go on..…No?….Jaguar cars, go on ask me anything....anything.
(two burly security people are dragging him away as he shouts)
What about croquet. I know all the rules….one question please……I’m so bored….all those long empty hours with nothing to do and I daren’t go home…. Oh the boredom….I know….. Cherie’s dress bill…you must want an answer..
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Madam deputy...
Written by woody44 (774 comments posted) 6th June 2006 |
Have you thrown your hat (if you wear one) into the ring for the deputy PMs job yet MrsB? You could do wonders for Nottingham. Automatically promote Forest back to the Premiership( I know..you don`t understand and care even less) Pull down that monstrous thing they call an ice stadium and put up another Tesco (or a refuge for maimed drug dealers) Restore credit points for free breakfasts at Debenhams...the list is endless. But I suppose that fat lethario will tough it out until the Conservatives get in just before the next ice age....
nice bit of satirical writing..thank god for freedom
of speech.
happy writing... |
Delightful Creature!
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 6th June 2006 |
Sadly, Mrs B, I fear all this may be rather too near the truth actually to be funny. Which is another way of saying the joke's on the likes of you and me. I don't have a vote over here. If I had I would probably try and sell it. Quick bit of satire, this and very topical. I liked the voice of Prescott. Appallingly accurate. What do women see in these men. Nobody ever comes running after me. It's not fair. Like when everyone was being stalked. Nobody ever stalked me. I need to get out more. Well done!
Slan! |
A masterstroke!
Written by mishmish (389 comments posted) 6th June 2006 |
This made me laugh at first, but when I read it again I realised that this would probably be quite an accurate account of Mr Prescott, if ever he was to grace the black chair.
You really have got his voice off to a tee! It's quite uncanny...
Great piece of satire. Just what one needs after a heavy day at work...more please.
best wishes
mishmish
|
Gosh
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 6th June 2006 |
A side of BBs we've not seen before.
It's all been said, a well written piece,
Brian |
magic!
Written by Leo (573 comments posted) 6th June 2006 |
absolutely spot on!
|
Ta guys
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3298 comments posted) 7th June 2006 |
Thank you one and all for taking the time to comment on my bit of bile and giving it more credibilty than it deserves. And to Woody: lothario is a good word and sums him up perfectly.I wish I'd used it.
I'm relieved it's not just me who finds the mans antics so distasteful
cheers |
Written by sasquatch (125 comments posted) 7th June 2006 |
what a great format, suprised it hasnt been done before, maybe it has? but an excellent choice.
the possibilities are endless!
Sasquatch. |
Written by brook_rivers (484 comments posted) 9th June 2006 |
Loved this Mrs B!!!
I sometimes think Mr Prescott makes remarks just to get some attention he certainly makes me laugh! as does this post!
Hey there are loads of 'bushisms' how about compiling some 'prescottisms'?
brook |
john prescot mastermind
Written by MikeMorris (106 comments posted) 14th June 2006 |
one of the most genuinely funny pieces i have ever read about a politician! brilliant! i was in serious danger of being physically ill from a laughing fit.
Thanks again,
Mike |
Written by jean.day (2257 comments posted) 26th June 2006 |
| I enjoyed this one, too. And not many hours ago I was sitting in a plane updating myself on what I had missed in the UK for the last 3 weeks, and there he was again - making such a fool of himself. You do have a gift for making ordinary things very funny. |
JP
Written by petetheverse (164 comments posted) 28th January 2008 |
Hi,
Seeing your name in the 'reviews required', just had to look - (after your justified and enjoyable diatribe!).
What a terrific send-up of the great man. You only missed out his embattled response to egg-thowers!
JP - Justice of the Peace! NOT!
I've never tried writing dialogue, because everyone would speak in the same, burbled muffled tones as I speak myself!
So, good on you!
Pete
Mrs B - better than Mrs P (0n two counts!). |
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