Letters to Beth

Dear Beth,
 
I didn't leave the house today, didn't reckon on going outside.  It was raining, that fine rain that gets under your collar and runs down your neck, soaks you to the bone.  I read the papers and watched television for a while but I couldn't concentrate.  It is so bright in the daytime, daytime television...I thought I would write to you instead.

I also had to stay in to wait for the man from the gas company, but he never showed up.  I rang them and got this young girl in Scotland.  She said they couldn't come today, too many jobs in my district.  I got a little angry to be honest, what if I had plans, why didn't you call?  She was just doing her job I guess, it's happened before, but still, the weather could have been nice today.

We've got some new neighbours next door, an Asian family.  Loads of them.  I don't know where they are all going to fit.  It's Mrs Barker's old place, and there was only her and the cats.  I said hello over the fence, to be neighbourly, but they just stared at me.  Silly buggers.  The place is changing, like they did up the old Park Inn, all fancy with a metal bar and bright colours.  I don't know what it's called now, there doesn't seem to be a sign, but it seems very nice.

I was going to have a chip supper tonight for my tea but it is still raining outside, only people out are the election folks.  It's coming up soon.  Mike, our old shop steward is doing the rounds with the leaflets for the usual crowd.  It's some young fella this time, about the same age as our David.  I told him it was daft at his age, wandering the streets in all weathers.  He just said he was doing his bit.  I stuck the poster up in the living room window.  Mike's an old pal and it'll stop the others bothering me in any case.  Hopefully.

So I guess I'll just watch the films tonight.  There's some good ones on, a Bruce Willis and one about Cambodia.  Kampuchea.  Whatever they call it nowadays.  I circled the ones I wanted to watch.  Remember you used to laugh at me when I did that, when you said I would be asleep by eleven and miss the second half, after the news?  They don't do that anymore, but there's still the adverts, to make a tea or go to the toilet.  I bought some beers in, so it'll be an alright night.

Well, I guess I'd better let you get on,

Tony.

Dear Beth,

The doctor told me I should give up the smokes and cut down on the ale.  I told him I'd think about it and then I went to the pub.  Mike and Ted were there, getting an early couple in before dinner.  Actually Ted was setting up for a session.  He'd had an argument with Sarah.  I asked Mike if he was taking a night off from his politics, but I was only winding him up.  Pulling his leg.  We had a laugh.

We drink at the Victoria now, just a bit further up the hill out of town, on the right-hand side.  It's nice, like an old pub.  The students seem to like it, the smart ones, so it's never too busy.  We had some nice weather too, a little sunshine, so we could sit outside.  It was a nice afternoon, a little windy, but good to feel the sun again, Mike talking and Ted complaining.  I enjoyed myself.

These National Front lot are round again for the elections, probably because we've got a lot of Asians around here.  They've got a different name now, and the feller that knocked on my door was smart, a polite lad.  Nice shoes.  I told him thanks but no thanks.  I'm a labour man myself, always had been.  A lot of us were, is what he said.  Silly sod, he can only have been about thirty.  So I told him I'd never had any trouble with the Asians, live and let live and all that, and I took is leaflet anyway to show no hard feelings.  Said I would even read it.  That made him laugh.

I had a nice roast the other day.  It's worth the effort sometimes, but a bit silly, with all them left overs.  The asian lady next door is always cooking, smells like the curryhouse over the park.  I don't mind so much but it makes me hungry.

What else is new?  Only some silly beggar in the newspapers that won the lottery, not much, five balls or something, and then lost it all gambling on the horses.  The reporter asked him why he kept gambling even when he'd won big once, but I can't remember what he said.  Anyway, daft sod, and now he goes to the paper because he wants us all to feel sorry for him.  That made me laugh.

I'm feeling good today, but I've got to get off and get my fags and the evening paper before the newsagents shuts,

Will write again soon, Tony.

Dear Beth,

It was all very exciting last night.  Someone put a petrol bomb through the cornershop windows, the one just three doors down.  There were fire engines, coppers, all the students piled out of the pub with their beers to watch.  Our street was on the news, they blamed it on some lads from Oldham.  Mrs Dickson from the hairdressers was interviewed, said it couldn't been anyone from round here because we had nothing against the Asians.  I guess she's right, there was never any trouble until recently.  But then there is more of them now.

So I have to walk another half mile to get my smokes.  The police interviewed all the neighbours, including the family next door, though I don't think they had anything to do with it.  They never came by me, but then I didn't see anything anyway.  I only looked out of the window when the second fire engine went past, watched it all from there.  Those boys would have been long gone by then, probably back in Oldham.

Apart from that it's all pretty normal at the moment.  We're having a nice spring, the flowers and the old bowlers have come out in the park.  Ted's still in the doghouse with Sarah for getting drunk and falling asleep in the hallway with his trousers around his ankles, so he's not allowed out to the pub at the moment.  It was their forty year anniversary the other week.  Forty years.  A long time.

Things have changed round here, thats for sure.  I was talking to Mike about it the other day.  More students, more Asians, middle class tossers with nice cars.  Mike says it's good, that it's progress, more money, more multicultural.  I don't know, maybe he's right, but it seems more dirty nowadays, and everyone's a stranger.  No pride in the neighbourhood.  The post office shut down as well, so I have to go into town now.  But some of it is still like it used to be, and there's less nosiness in everyone's business.  I guess that's an improvement.

There's a Bond film on tonight and one of those real life police shows, so I'd better get on,

Take care, Tony.

Dear Beth,

The cricket has started again so I went down to watch the county boys play.  It was sunny again, so I had an ice cream after my pie and chips but it made me feel a little sick.  There was not many of us there, just a few old boys like me with too much time on their hands and some young lads drinking beer.  We were hopeless as always.  It was over before tea, embarrassing.

There's blossom on the trees around here, making the place look pretty, hiding some of the ugliness.  I had lamb chops for dinner, but they were not as good as you used to make them.  I never asked what the secret recipe was.  Too late now I guess.

Oh, the gas man finally came.  A young lad with a bad attitude. When I saw what he did I told him that I didn't know why I had to wait so long when I could have done it myself.  He said it wasn't allowed.  Regulations.  Then he tapped his clipboard with is pen.  Idiot. I opened some wine from Christmas but it gave me a headache so I poured the rest down the sink.  What I really wanted was a beer but I didn't want to go out again.  Some girl on the telly said that you should freeze wine in ice cube trays so you can use it later for cooking, but I didn't see what recipe it was for.  A bit of a waste of time in my opinion.

I find that I am thinking more and more about you at the moment, why I guess is where these letters are coming from.  Especially in the afternoon when there isn't anything to watch on television except these silly talk shows and repeats.  I used to look at the photo albums you made but it made me sad so I put them up in the attic.  I hadn't been up there in years.  It's amazing how much junk we've got.

I don't feel like writing much more now, so I'll let you get on,

I miss you, Tony.

Dear Beth,

It was another beautiful day today but I didn't feel like going outside.  The Asian lads are upset, about the shop I guess.  Two of them said stuff to me yesterday when I was getting some milk, walked with me for a few yards, laughing.  I told them I had nothing to do with the fire and it made them laugh even more.  There's even been a few fights outside the pubs, and we were on the news again.  More coppers around.  I don't really know what all the fuss is about to be honest, there was always fights outside the pubs, every Friday and Saturday night at throwing out time, like clockwork.  But there is always a fuss when the Asians are involved.

I'm thinking about getting cable for the football.  There is never any good games on normal television and I don't like going down the pub to watch the match.  It's too busy and you can't get a seat, or you get a seat and then lose it when you get up to go for a piss.  It's worse than going to the game itself.

I feel a little lonely at the moment.  Maybe I'll meet up with the lads tomorrow, after I've made my cross.  It's the election.  Mike will be all excited, and I'll make my usual mark for his young feller.  I don't really see the difference anymore, not like when Maggie was there or even before.  At least she made it interesting, even though it looks like she has gone crazy now, probably always was.

I miss you Beth.  Why did you have to leave?  I wish you were here more and more every day.  I've got too much time and no-one to spend it on.  I guess it always used to be the other way around.  I feel like I am waiting for the end of the story, that we are wrapping it up, but it never ends.  That's my punishment.  I never really told you that I loved you did I?  At least, not in the last few years.  You take it for granted I suppose.  Maybe that's why I have been writing these letters, to tell you at last,

Much love, Tony.

Dear Beth,

We won the election, as Mike always said we would.  It was all thanks to him, I said, and he laughed.  The weather is nice, and I am going to meet them soon for some beers in the sunshine.

I think this will be the last letter that I write to you.  I needed to get all that stuff I said in the last letter off my chest and I have done that now.  I know it doesn't and can't change anything so I can leave you in peace, say goodbye. 

I don't think I want to write anymore,

Tony.