Why won’t time stand still ?
The way the rain stopped
The way the wind ceased
Time just shimmered and hovered around
Why does time trickle silently ?
Pulling at my arm pushing you away
Shining glimpses, perfect moments
Distance making, changing cloud
Why is time so cruelly kind ?
Showing me reality tempered with eternity
Strengthens with my weakness
Wrecking waves through transparent sea
Why is time still waiting for me ?
Lingering lounging kicking me along
Clinging closely familiarity
Hides the truth I dare not see.
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Time Line
Written by Buchan (42 comments posted) 16th June 2006 |
I thought your poem was excellent. Loved the flow of words .Such talented imagery expressing pictures in the mind. Words worth digesting with thought.
"Why is time so cruelly kind" "Why is time still waiting for me"
I thought this poem was very good and well written.
Thank you for sharing such a wonderful poem.
Happy writing. Buchan. |
Written by brook_rivers (484 comments posted) 16th June 2006 |
I really enjoyed this poem, i think you dealt with the subject of time very well. I liked the use of rhetorical questions, it is a good way of making the reader think about the poem.
And welcome to the site!
Brook |
structure
Written by Leo (573 comments posted) 16th June 2006 |
I agree, the use of questions is a great structural technique.
really loved it.
thanks |
Deep and Beautiful
Written by mishmish (389 comments posted) 16th June 2006 |
Hi Elly
A beautiful poem with imagery that is far deeper than at first appears.
"Showing me reality tempered with eternity" - time as we know it has no end, it is continuous. This line easily feels like a sense of a loved one's great longing. The word 'cruelly kind' suggests that this is indeed about a love that is albeit too brief, but when love is there, time is kind, when it is gone 'time is cruel'.
'Wrecking waves through transparent sea' - time travels through everything, even at the quatum level 'the sea', it travels, but time creates peaks and troughs in the quantum sea, thus wrecking it. Of course, this also has connations around pain and love.
'Clinging closely familiarity' - everything that you know around you is defined by time. There is also a sadness about this line, like you know that the familiarity can not change, as much as you want it to.
Hides the truth I dare not see.' - A love that can not be, a future you dare not imagine. Or a world within the physical world we know.
This is totally beautiful imagery. I really loved this poem on so many different levels.
Sorry, I've rambled, but it really caught something in me.
best wishes
mishmish
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thanks for reading
Written by ellyb39 (79 comments posted) 17th June 2006 |
| Thank you very much for all your comments. I wrote this poem very quickly this week after a friend of mine died, time is a bit of bugger isnt it? |
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