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Poetry
Love Affair
By Buchan
18 June 2006
Sadness for the past but always a new start,another day.

                                 Sadness today for lovers far away
                                 Not enough time to see your smile
                                 Love like a bright candle snuffed out
                                 Feelings of "as one",gone now alone


                                 Forever,you my love a soul so true
                                 Meeting the past,like snow in summer
                                 Yesterday and all it's madness gone
                                 Dark clouds in the night pass away

                                 Tomorrow I meet the new rising sun
                                 Enjoying a bright clear warm day
                                 Soul that is learning,a heart anew
                                 Love Affair,new life,another way.

                            
                                 
                                

Reviews

Written by no1butClo (338 comments posted) 27th June 2006
I think what this means is a change of word usage, but not of meaning. I can feel as a reader exactly what you're trying to do here, but in a few places it doesn't quite make it. 
 
Check your punctuation aswell, before you publish, 'cause i've looked at some of your other stuff and the commas without spaces make it really hard to read! 
 
the first two lines of this, rhythmically, have real potential, perhaps we-work it as a rhyming piece? 
 
just some thoughts, hope it was helpful 
 
x clo x

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