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Wheel of love final turning |
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By patterjack
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19 June 2006 |
A bitter self recrimination at the end of an affair Cessation
Look first on these expectant hands
that have in their confusion torn
cloth from flesh and flesh from bone;
groping their callous way they found
no truth beyond the skeleton
no more than other hands have shown.
Look next on these bewildered eyes
that saw the cloth , the flesh , the bone,
that saw the rape done by the hands
as they carried off the only prize
that could be , would be , won;
that saw , but could not understand.
Look , at last , upon this brain
that only knows analysis,
that pares emotion to the core
allowing nothing to remain
beyond the fact itself , secure
and cannot make a synthesis. |
Written by brook_rivers (484 comments posted) 19th June 2006 | I found this ending an appropriate but chilling conclusion to your sequence. As you know i have been fascinated to see this sequence in progress and I have to admit other than shakespeare's sonnets and beowulf I have never paid much attention to poetic stories, & so I have found it very interesting reading a contemporary one.
Your writing and technique through out the wheel of love has definately revealed another side of poetry to me.
All I can once again say is your poems are written like a true pro and I am astounded that you haven't had endless publications. I am certain that anyone who appreciates anything about poetry would snap this without hesitation as The Wheel of Love really is a very beautiful and meaningful work of art.
Best wishes
Brook | Sublime ending
Written by mishmish (389 comments posted) 23rd June 2006 | Hi Patterjack
I expected an ending of this nature by what you said to me, but I didn't expect it to be this brutal. In each word, you can feel the hurt, the pain, the bitterness of the affair. This is truly powerful writing, and I second Brook's statement that this needs to be published. It is absolutely fantastic.
The sequence of 'look first', 'look next' and 'look last', somehow made me think of a lover turning round, really looking over their shoulder to see their ex-love slowly vanishing.
The lines:
cloth from flesh and flesh from bone;
groping their callous way they found
no truth beyond the skeleton
are extremely reflective of emotional partings, everything has been ripped apart, in a last ditch attempt to find something to believe in, but even at the skeleton stage, there is nothing to hold on to...no truth - no conviction.
The last verse says to me that this love died because it was analysed too far down, that the other person was trying to create a copy, trying to recreate themselves again in their love, and that was what broke the affair apart.
This is fantastic writing, it has haunted me and once again touched me deeply.
A fabulous series that you really should be extremely proud of, and most of all...you should do more.
with best wishes
mishmish |
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