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For Children
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AMY, PLEASE TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF YOUR HEAD
By Nettle
20 June 2006
This is my first attempt at a story for a picture book for 2-6 year olds.  I can't draw so the story currently stands alone.  This came to life on a long car journey with my young children (I'm actually trying to write gown up stuff).  I have entered this into a comp but didn't win.  Any comments welcome - I'm pleased with the punchline...the rest may be, well, pants.


AMY, PLEASE TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF YOUR HEAD

Amy didn't wear her pants on her bottom like you and me.  She wore them on her head for everyone to see!

Every morning Mummy said: "Amy, please take your pants off your head." 
But Amy always said "No!".

Mummy tried everything to get Amy's pants off her head.  She chased her around the bedroom.  She chased her down the stairs.  She chased her into the garden. 
"You're just too fast," said Mummy.

Mummy said that Amy could have new shoes or a trip to the zoo or a sweet if she would just take her pants off her head, even for a minute.  But nothing worked.  Amy liked wearing her pants on her head, and that was that.

Mummy didn't know what to do.   She didn't want Amy to be the only person with pants on their head when Amy started nursery school next week.  Mummy decided she needed some help.

Mummy asked Nanny and Grannie but they said: "She'll grow out of it."

Mummy mentioned it to the hairdresser, but she said: "She'll grow out of it."

Mummy took Amy to see the doctor but the doctor said: "She'll grow out of it."

Mummy even tried Amy's ballet teacher but she said, with a twirl and a smile: "She'll grow out of it."

Mummy still didn't know what to do.  She had run out of people to ask for advice and Amy's pants were still on her head.

Soon it was time for Amy to go to nursery school.  In the morning Mummy asked: "Amy, please take your pants off your head."

 "No!" said Amy.

"Will you take them off after breakfast?"

"No!"

"Will you take them off after you have got dressed?"

"No!"

"Will you please take them off before you get to nursery school?"

"No, no, no!" said Amy.

After breakfast Amy left for nursery school holding Mummy's hand.  Her pants were, of course, still on her head.  When they got to nursery school everyone stared at the little girl with pants on her head.  Amy didn't seem to mind so Mummy said good-bye and went home.

At picking-up time, as Mummy waited outside the nursery school door, she hoped that the teacher had managed to get Amy's pants off her head.  But when she opened the door she couldn't believe her eyes.  Everyone in the class was wearing their pants on their head - even the teacher!

Reviews
Right
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 22nd June 2006
Take that tongue out of your cheek right now! 
 
(Sha'n't said Nettle and ran off giggling. Unfortunately her pants slipped over her eyes and she ran into a lampost.) 
 
I'd suggest that you posted this on Comedy 
 
One final thought 
 
"(I'm actually trying to write gown up stuff)." 
 
We don't have an erotica forum, so you'll have to post it on Short Stories, with a suitable "Adult Warning" 
 
Welcome to GW, 
 
Brian 
 
What to do about the pants
Written by Josie (2785 comments posted) 23rd June 2006
Children will love this funny story, but I think I would have finished it differently. My daughter was always very slow eating her food - she messed about with it. When she started school, they put the slow children on the "slow table". That did the trick. They didn't want to be shown up as different to tht others and changed. I think the story should have ended: All the children laughed when Amy came into the room. Suddenly the pants came off her head - - - - for good! ha ha 
This is a really good idea for a story. Children like to read of things which are a bit unusual.

Written by julie (21 comments posted) 26th June 2006
my daughter loved this story she thought putting pants on her head was a great idea especially when she saw the pictures of her uncle thomas who used to do this all the time. Don't change a thing why should children have to conform to what everybody else thinks. Amy is a great character what's wrong with being a little bit different. :)

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3362 comments posted) 3rd July 2006
I'm siding with Julie here I loved the quirky ending which the children will love to. It's gloriously rebellious and scatalogical and the opposite to what we were expecting. It's the ending that sets the tone. The rest of it was also funny and clever, with the repeated answers, that will appeal to kids. 
Get an artist to draw it and get it published 
cheers  
BBS
I loved it
Written by Gill21 (566 comments posted) 25th July 2006
Just wanted to say that i adored this story. It actually made me laugh out loud and i'm 21 so i am sure children will love it even more! It is simple, funny and imaginative. What more does a child want?

Written by Phil (6730 comments posted) 23rd August 2006
Enjoyed this story and as I was reading I could imagine it presented with drawings in a big hardback book. Like BBS, I too liked the repetition (although in children's stories things normally come in threes). 
I teach primary children and I know this would entertain a class of five year olds. 
Loved it. 
 
dont change amy!
Written by isobel* (26 comments posted) 3rd September 2006
what i like most about this is the ending - it illustrates that Amy was right to be herself, and also could encourage children to be themselves also, seeing 'difference' as something not to be scared of. 
 
it moves nicely, too, as a piece of writing. 
Hits all the right buttons:) 
 
isobel x
Thanks!
Written by Nettle (2 comments posted) 11th September 2006
Just wanted to say thanks to everyone who has reviewed this little tale and offered advice. I am considering looking for an artist but at the moment I am still focussing on my novel proper - a tale about a forensic psychiastrist who is trying to stop a serial killer of identical twins before he strikes again (a little different to this confection!). :grin

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