JUDGE.   I will ask you again Miss Moss, were you using talcum powder?

   MISS MOSS.  No your honour I was not. I had just put Rasputin to bed and was preparing myself a line of cocaine.

   JUDGE.  Cocaine Miss Moss! You expect us to believe that you have all this elaborate kit set up at your side just to snort a few grains of harmless cocaine?

    MISS MOSS.  On my life your honour! I would never ever jeopodize my health, or the health of my precious child by having so much as the scent of talcum powder in the house.

     JUDGE.   But is it not true Miss Moss that on numerous occasions, as stated by one of your previous celebrity boyfriends, you have sprinkled this substance over yourself, and been seen at least a dozen times to have rubbed it all over the private parts of your poor defenceless child?
                              (GASPS OF DISBELIEF FROM THE PUBLIC GALLERY)

     MISS MOSS.(FIGHTING BACK THE TEARS)  I did perhaps indulge myself once your honour..but please, you have to believe me, I would never ever let my child anywhere near talcum powder.

      JUDGE.  I must say in your defence Miss Moss that the police, having made a thorough search of you house, can find no trace of the substance this time. I am mindful to add however, that pictures of this nature in a national newspaper only serve to glamorize the use of talcum powder. Young people are vey impressionable Miss Moss. I sugest that next time you want to do something as innocent as a little cocaine snorting, you do so well away from the prying eyes of the Press or television.

     MISS MOSS.  I will certainly bare that in mind your honour, and thank you. Now if I could just have my little plastic bags back......