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Poetry
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this is what i am ADDICTION!
By brook_rivers
25 June 2006
another experiemental poem here, on the issue of alcoholism, as if written by a bottle of beer! which i think gives the topic a sinister slant. Constructive comments appreciated!



I am the ice cold aid to quench your thirst
An attractive chocolate liquid to ease your pain
I will inflate your confidence, so you feel like the bubble will never burst
Silkily sliding down the back of your throat; so easy to drain
The last tantilizing dregs at the bottom of the glass.

I can make you feel on top of the world
I can drag you down to the depths of hell
I can ensnare you're sense
So that you are never well
If you have me

I am the alcoholic drink that has the potential to drive you insane.

Reviews
I'VE GOT YOU COMPLETELY
Written by Josie (2788 comments posted) 25th June 2006
I can block out your problems 
as I glide down your throat 
The world will seem sweeter 
And you’ll seem to float. 
 
There’s a warm friendly feeling 
But I’ll cheat you with stealth – 
I’ll steal your friends and your mind 
Not to mention your wealth. 
 
When you’re under my influence, 
I’ll laugh in your face – 
You’ll be sorry you met me – 
In your world of disgrace. 
 
Clever idea..
Written by Leo (573 comments posted) 26th June 2006
I like this idea very much, and like both pieces: 
 
Brook: I can drag you down to the depths of hell... 
 
Josie: i'll steal...your mind 
 
I think theres more where this came from... 
 
Thank you both!
Great Writing
Written by mishmish (389 comments posted) 26th June 2006
Excellent poems (both brook and josie)...I like the idea of writing from the point of view of an object (in this case the beer)...It gave a totally different, but a very real perspective...and as you said, brook, a sinister angle. 
 
Good writing and I look forward to more of this type...Got me thinking too ... 
 
best wishes 
 
mishmish x
thanks for taking the time to review
Written by brook_rivers (484 comments posted) 28th June 2006
glad you liked the idea of writing from the point of view of an object! I have written a few like this so will post them up shortly.  
 
Josie you're poem was excellent you always seem to get the rhythm so right!  
 
I think poems that bring awareness to certain issues can be more effective than prose somehow which is another reason why i wrote this. 
 
all the best 
 
brook
Speaking Objects
Written by Rattle_Spear (93 comments posted) 2nd July 2006
Brook I've one for you. 
 
Bite The Bullet 
SOWETO RIOTS 1976 - 2006 
 
I started my journey all shiny and bright 
That's when he swallowed me on Friday night  
I entered the mouth with a dash of rum 
Then through the throat I passed all numb 
Straight into the stomach I twirled 
Mixing with stomach-acids I began to curl 
 
I stayed in limbo for a matter of five days 
On through the intestines with praise 
The journey was dismal and visibility bad 
Reaching the colon made me pretty glad 
After five days I had had all I could take 
Then landing in the bowl was my lucky break 
 
The journey was tarnished and discoloured  
I am a survivor at best 
Back to the magazine where I am laid to rest 
Yes a 9 mm bullet without a soul 
Like a space ship I took on the role! 
 
 
I hope it compliments your way of thinking. :grin
to rattle_spear
Written by brook_rivers (484 comments posted) 2nd July 2006
Hey!! 
 
thanks for that reply, i like the fact that you & josie have responded in poems! & yes it certainly compliments the subject & form so ta very much!!!! 
 
Brook :)
i love it!
Written by rilLie (327 comments posted) 1st August 2006
i like the idea, it's very nice :) 
 
0_o

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